Don't refrain yourself from telling good words!

   The life requires being in touch with people because of plenty of reasons in order to deal then to obtain the desires and interests.

    Nobody denies that the pressures (which come through life’s events and problems) they tire the person and break his will to doing something important as we said before. So it’s an ordinary fact that everyone can have in his life.

    In many times these situations are hard to overcoming them alone and maybe the solution -to handle them- comes from a separated person to the matter as the talking (with someone truthful and trustworthy who can understand you very well as he can understand that matter) is very helpful psychologically in way to resolve your problems, also the listening is useful too.

    If you already met that or someone whom you know in this case (your friend, sibling, colleagues, or just you met him in bus one day) and you heard from him that what’ we mentioned above, it means that this person has a need for help, and hoping to find something with you, else he couldn’t tell you explicitly, if you’re in this case and you can say something useful, so don’t hesitate to tell it (in order to add  a positive value of course), don’t hold back the good words from going outside of your heart! Even if you weren’t asked directly to tell; that you’re able; so release your tongue to bring a positive addition, and to be like a brightening source for your listeners. That because you don’t have the same stress and pressures, so you can bring a different view to the matter and telling your opinion in its positive sense. In the end it’s an opinion but it can be an important part of solution.

    You’re able to tell something useful about the matter that you heard, tell it when you’re permitted to tell! The time goes on, and maybe you forget after a while what you already said, whereas that person will live those words in his reality “like a medicine” where they affected positively on him and on his life generally forever. So that concerned person can recover the hope from your good words, you may be raising his morale, help to change a conviction to the better, all those results can come just through your wise word when you said it.

    You aren’t waiting for any recompense neither thanking, after that try to helping (because maybe you just met once and only one in your life) just do it for nothing in return as a service to someone even when you don’t know him. But when you grant this favour it’ll bring the happiness to your heart that you did something valuable really, one day you’ll meet also who tells you a good word and helps you. Don’t stop telling helpful words when you can that. Just keep yourself saying good words for people whom you know or you meet always in everywhere you’re whatever the situation, that’s better than keeping the silence and being neutral.

    In fact; don’t refrain yourself from telling good words necessary for the situation when you think  it’s the suitable time for it, that favour can be so instrumental for the second person when you do it, in our life it can be also wider than to be limited in words, maybe a mental or a physical effort, every favour (small or big) it’s a great service.

Is the matter valuable to deserve more effort? Part 03

    I want to summarize what I talked about in last two articles, about motivating yourself by yourself when no way to get that from your environment.

Some people also get motivation when they’ve companions in the same way and they’re working in the same target, the problem is in once that these people around stopped for certain reasons, this person also gives up continuing the work on that purpose. So even if nobody is beside you, don't think it's the end, because you can draw your road in different way towards the goal, if you don’t have affability, or any previous model to follow for encouragement only, you can be the first model for yourself and don’t hesitate to try doing your best, right ! Because it can be with incredible findings on you in somehow.

    It’s very bad that feeling when you’re upset from realizing something you want a lot, these eagerness didn’t missed at all, just it was inanimate (a dormant power) because you got preoccupation with something else. It’s a matter depending a lot to the human psychology that you can play on your feelings, apply some tips to renew your fervency and eagerness to get what you desired to have (recall in mind the importance of this matter in your life as we shown before), and in the results; your hidden feelings see the light again lead them towards your aims in the positive sense of course.

    You know generally, whatever your circumstances are in life, remember after the tightness, they will come the easy times where it’s widen around you (I mean the easiness in your circumstances), and after any hardship that you clash in life, the situation will change to be better and joyful for you. Because it’s a feeling when you get easiness in your everyday life (in comparing with previous hardship) you’ll absolutely feel better than before. Those general words can work in every situation you’ve, you want something, but the situation didn’t help enough to get it, and that‘s still important for you to get in your life. So it’s possible to change it if you hadn’t any new factors affecting on the matter.

    By the way, many people live in the past by their minds whereas their bodies are in the present, we shouldn't rely our life on something we don't possess it yet, and also don't regret on something you can't change, but think about the next step how should it'll be, besides, if you worry about something didn't come, it's better to work enough effort and do your best (when you still have time to do something useful in road) in order to tend far from that you're worried from instead  worrying and regretting after  (that's what we mean by doing more effort). The optimistic mood can bring you the motivation without any extern factor, or you deliberately interpret them towards the positive way to motivate yourself and renew your inner motivation.

    That was the summary and I hope it’ll be helpful to think again and more, deeply about the matter that you’re working on to get, to handle, or to achieve it.

: Is the matter valuable to deserve more effort? Part 02

   We talked last time about an important matter, the self-treatment to continue the working on any project or goal that you want to reach it, and I said that the right and objective definition of the matter from the point of its importance or no in your life. That answer can help you to do the next; we’ll make more examples to explain that.

    Another example: your target is fixed by a time, like your exams will be after a week or 2, a year or just some hours) but you can’t study to them, some laziness and of course no motivation and a little hopeless. Surely where there are exams it’s an important matter for you. And there is some times, it means you still have more time to improve your chance to be closer (to your goal) than before (and here in example; it means also a hope, and an opportunity to keep something in your mind and remind yourself by previous gained knowledge). I can tell something here, logically if you don’t do any effort you won’t pass your exams? But if you think positively; When you start studying probably you won’t reach 100% of your preparation on day of your exams, right, but at least with that effort you’ll realize about 80% (more or less), this percentage isn’t great whereas it’s good enough to enter your exams with hope and in optimistic mood.

    So what prevents you to do your effort? At least you won’t regret on exams’ day that you wasted your time whatever the end is pleasant or not, besides your relaxing inside that you really did your best. You had an experience to be responsible under your pressures, better than being neutral, losing time, mood, and opportunities. In other words; you still have time to do some useful and fruitful effort to achieve a positive result. So find yourself a reason that deserves to do more efforts to ….(here: to learn that), benefit from your time, and invest in it (like in economy +0.01 means a growth and it’s a positive indicator).

    Simply; when you’ve to do something in a certain period, you know it’s very important, so try to do it perfectly, do your best during that period and benefit the most possible you can from it, right! At least when you fight for your goal, you won’t regret later if you lose it.

    That was an example to show the matter how to motivate yourself. You can compare this example with everything in your life that you’ve a project to do, an interview of job, an exam, a presentation, …etc. we don’t neglect some fun from time to time, but it deserves some seriousness from you in order to achieving your goals in life and improving your career. And remember! Because you’re convinced that it’s so important matter for you and your life, and you’ve to do it in the end; so find for yourself the suitable motivation to do it. When you create that inner motivation (or renew it again), you won’t give up even if you stop for years, you’ll retake again one day later.

    Next time; we’ll discuss another matter, it’s depending to one of the human values in life.

Is the matter valuable, to deserve more effort?

    All people are wishing to achieve a lot of things in their lives everyone in the entirely world is working on a plan to get a result in the end in order to make his life comfort, it’s concerning his family, study, career and job, and then it’ll be easier than before.

    But the plan doesn’t work correctly sometimes, and several factors comes within events of daily life suddenly and unexpected, so these factors show the going on plan and add more pressures in the matter, which leads to giving up before reaching the , where the person feels himself remaining in the same place too.

    No enough resources, no free time, no possibilities to do right now, …etc, in general; it’s going to the same sense of “no motivation”, then what to do in that situation?

   When you find yourself in that case, you’ve to handle it by yourself firstly you estimate your target again, does the matter deserve to fight for it? and goal (to work on) is important in your next life? May I give an example here, a student who learns a new language who tried long time with no progress in his linguistic level, so he feels disappointed after that and thinks to abandon. But the answer of that question is depending on your needs, is it important really for you to get that thing (to speak that language in future, maybe it’s job or post-graduating, …etc) ? if it’s the fact , so you shouldn’t stop definitely your learning even if you take a break time, but make it temporary only! Because in every time you remember what you planned to gain in your life after ending that matter (here: being fluent let me do…., and …etc ), it pushes you to be motivated again for the serious working and sets fire in your heart to be hopeful for being like you already planned and like you see in your vision. That’s what’s called the inner motivation regardless to the environment around.

    How to do that? You already estimated the importance of your doing and the necessity to getting for improving your career in next years. So you’re obliged to create the motivation by yourself to keep moving on. Because you don’t need anybody to remind you again that it’s something so important for you and you’ve to do it, and, …etc. I continue with the same example: you’ll have to spend a certain time in class (maybe some hours every week), and you’ll insist to be present and you paid also your fees. So why you can’t pass that time in learning seriously when you’ve to pass it in all cases?

    In the next article, I’ll give another example to tell some reasons make you think about your own business (whatever its kind) and how to push yourself ahead in getting your goal when you really believe that’s precious for you. 

Is the asking of advice making us look weaker?

    In the same context of the previous articles; when we said that the human life is a part from social life, and it can’t continue normally separately alone. when you think that your existence is a part from social existence; you’ll deal and interact with people more and many great values appear and strengthen. So you communicate, discuss different matters, help and asking help too. That’s the way that people develop in their minds, find out different cultures and knowledge, and get always new perspectives.

    Every one passes by bad circumstances, and some hard times come across his life’s irregular moments, in those times; the problems weaken the person who undergoes them in somehow. Sometimes the situation leads to the matter that we already talked about in last two articles “the loneliness”, and this choice isn’t pleasant neither likable.

    But some others; they prefer to overcome these cruel times in way to face them instead the isolation. So they look for an exit or outlet to exceed the circumstance that they have currently. They think about a way to handle it, regardless if it’s a moral problem or depending to some life’s responsibilities.

    The smartest people are who share this situation with others to contributing in the way to resolve the problem, two minds are thinking together it's better than one only, and when three minds are thinking it's the best. And the luckiest people too are who find the suitable person to share with. You’ll add more experiences to yourself although you didn’t experiment them or test them at all. And that protect you to be mistaken in your next step and what you should do among a lot of choices. Through the advice you can get rid of your fogginess and you won’t be confused anymore.

    Whatever; we all know that your brain can do the necessary and it’s enough, but we are talking for the better option, for example, when you ask about an opinion, they think in free and they look to the matter from different perspective than yours. In contrast; with concerned person can’t do it normally in many times because of pressures of short time or having a bad mood, no energies for doing, …etc, don’t allow a quiet reflection.

    If you didn’t find with whom you share and ask advices to make a clear view about your actuality to pursue the life, work.., it doesn’t mean that it’s bad choice to let others contribute in solution of your problems, they are just suggestions when you listen well and in the end it’s your decision to choose what to do next. Probably you didn’t meet yet such as cruel circumstance for this reason or that, and it’s not weakness when you ask advice from the true person whereas it’s just an advisory option in order to light your mind by a different though, economizing your energies in road, and shortening time toward the solution and getting your target easier.

    We’ve a saying that says: “the fruits of experiences are the good choice”, and the asking of advice - when it’s necessary - sometimes; enters within this point. To get benefits from the fruits of gardens besides of yours.

The loneliness is a personal advantage or a social disease (part 02)

    The loneliness starts from a feeling of nobody understands correctly your needs, thoughts and your interests in life, then those people don’t find the essence of themselves (don’t feel their true value as persons), they suffer from some of marginalization in somehow, after that they don’t find any role they can do in life which brings depression, then more sadness, psychological instability ….(bad feelings too). So they prefer to be lonely more to not show their weakness and avoid talking with others even don’t discuss the matter except when it’s necessary. Because no one understands them, and again more depression more sadness until trending toward drugs, drinks, or suicide sometimes.

     I know sometimes you need to stay with yourself to renew your energies and discover yourself again, that’s logical to do, but to isolate yourself from any human interaction, that’s the wrong part in the matter. Maybe you blame yourself because of failures, your body lives in present whereas your feelings and spirit remained in past. You won’t have any progress in your life in this way.  And there is a saying: if you can’t change the circumstances; change your position and your attitude toward them! Look differently to the matter! And the live will flow in the other direction.

  How to do with them?

    Everybody needs help and support, it’s the social life and if you did a great job whereas no one evaluates or estimates well your work, you won’t like what you did, and you won’t enjoy your success at all, because it looks valueless work. Else when your work gets appreciation, and it looks valuable you feel pleasant and really you did something worth. And that’s the social life and the ordinary interaction with people.

    Moreover your destiny will bring to you who can help you in critical times; therefore you’re required to see when others are in need of your help or at least need your understanding as well. To not lose this person in the maze of loneliness; it’s preferably to bring him out by the sincere feeling of the understanding. When the person gets an impression that’s possible to find who can understand him, we won and we did a great achievement. Then the most important thing to do is the trust, it’s the channel to make this person feels your support and understanding, feels his existence in the real world as a member like everyone, all that to let him start talking with someone and break the wall of silence, it’s the first step.

    Secondly try to define for him his role in life (define again: remind him what he’s now? What can he do? And what should he think for to do?), and help to make a clear view for him to continue the life ahead. New dimensions ..with new horizons.

    If it’s in your responsibility or in your work to escort someone, you should provide the necessary help, show him the positive sides in his life, suggest him to join cultural or sportive clubs, improve some new skills and motivate him to learn something new in line with his tendencies, and also offer the guidance to achieve something valuable according to his interests, that recall to him self-esteem, and strengthen his confidence in himself.

How to do if you don’t find help?

    I know that the hardest times for each person are when he’s in need to close people - to standing beside him- and he couldn’t find that support from them, I mean when they aren’t available in the right time.

   The time is going on and you can’t stop the life, just you make yourself in vicious circle like living without existence and I think it isn’t fair enough for yourself. Probably that you don’t find who can help you to overcome that because it’s bad situation that you’re, so what should you do in this case?

    Break the routine! Change the things that you are used to do them every day, especially in weekend if you haven’t time in other days. If you’re working all days, you’re exhausted, go to have some fun (outside the work environment), plan to spend some time with family, friends, go to cinema, theatre, the park, the zoo,…etc or travel to a different city or country maybe.

    All the different kinds of pressures - from several responsibilities in life - lead to exit the life (in fact quit his existence as an active member), but the life doesn’t work like that, we should make effort to override all those, like I mentioned in many previous articles on this blog. Try to be in touch with others more, and discover how many people are different according to your tastes, you'll discover other things yourself within and how much you’ll be pleasant in your life.

The loneliness is a personal advantage or a social disease

   When the life is going for nothing useful, the person feels himself in empty circle, especially when this feeling is mixed with impression of no goal to like for and no need to be exist in this world. Those feelings lead to a sadness and make this person disappointed from the entirely life.

   People in those situations prefer to stay alone for a while, although the world became like a small city and all this big jam of social communication in different ways and means, but many people stay feeling by the loneliness in life because of no true people in fact beside, nobody cares. This feeling increases when you really don’t find anyone beside in times when you need to have someonein time when the family ties are broken more and more.

   The society looks coherent but if you check inside (nearly) you find out that many people are separated and living separately in their thoughts, their feelings, their goals ( regardless to living near of far from people). Everyone sings a different musical piece without harmony between them, this is the fact in our societies.

   And the loneliness becomes a kind of lifestyle for many people, because they don’t interact enough with others, sometimes it’s depending to personal convictions that everyone can live by himself and only. And for some reasons they don’t trust people, so they prefer the loneliness as an inevitable choice, their eyes start see the darkness without any bright face to the world.

   But the human life is based on social interactions and deal with people, so we can’t continue a normal and ordinary life if we choose to go mentally far from the society and stay alone when we’re obliged to remain within it.

   That’s why some people look for companionship through new technologies when they failed to find suitable mates that in daily life, not just to enjoy their time, have fun or make friends, but because they suffer from loneliness in real life whereas they’re surrounded by a lot of people and everything important for living.

    If we see the matter generally we find: when the people get encouragement, they work seriously to achieve what they’re working for. Whereas they give up when they don't get attention or enough care…etc. and that’s what happens in fact.

    We learn the success from successful experiences and people in the world when you spend your life with others, you’ll find the solidarity spirit, giving help, the morally and physically support, standing by side of each other…etc, you'll be ready to provide help in the same way that you wish to get when you need it.

   But I can say that those qualities disappeared today (in different degrees from place to another) unfortunately because of majority are looking only for themselves regardless to world around.