I can’t bear more, is there any hope?

    Several problems that can be at work, or health problems, familiar or personal problems too, the human being (in his life) is exposed to have, which apply a huge pressures on him. The matter to deal with is difficult of course, and it’s depending to his view to the matter, and his way to deal with. This situation leads to have an impression of no way to reaching a happy end after all that.

    When someone realize that the people around are living a perfect life without problems, and only he who suffers from that, he feels himself so weak. The feeling of weakness -because of the hard circumstances- makes the life so difficult, and that can affect on the entirely life of the person, in his work, at home with family, or with himself because of the pressures applied from those circumstances. That feeling comes when the person thinks himself the only person who’s flopping in bad times, and that’s the reason of the weakness.

    I heard from someone that it seems like “the life is playing a strange game in this way” because of some illness and other stuffs too (the reason can be everything, but I can take that as example), that’s hard a little because of no outlet to make an end to the problem.  Maybe you’ve the same situation in your life like with my friend, just with differences in details or places only, and it’s happening with everyone.

    the people whom you see in everywhere in streets, at work, on TV, all have that strange game, only it doesn't appear for you in the same way that it appears in their lives, what appears from your perspective is only their interface, and behind; there is a big mess in the life, people usually are keen to show only the perfect sides which are shining in the life to fascinating others, and the same with everyone in his life when he deals with others, then others will get the impression that he’s living a perfect life whereas he isn’t. So we can realize that some people have really a game stranger than yours as other have less too. You –or everyone- only think the inverse about others, when they all struggle with that and constantly they keep trying to cope, but to overcome that strange game (problem), it’s not depending only to resources (opportunities) of everyone but also his energies and his thoughts as well. Because if you’ve a gleam into your heart that protect you from being completely upset for 100%, so there is a little bit of positive energy to work by it in order to exploiting your remaining time.

    The previous article discussed this matter, I mean when you’re obliged to do something valuable in your life, it’s better to do your best in it, with a wish to get the result that you look for, instead to deepen in your fears towards the worse. So you do your best when you’ve that hope of course. Because the hope -that you will reach a situation better than you’ve now- is the essence of activeness to someone for changing his life towards the best. 

Is the matter valuable to deserve more effort? Part 03

    I want to summarize what I talked about in last two articles, about motivating yourself by yourself when no way to get that from your environment.

Some people also get motivation when they’ve companions in the same way and they’re working in the same target, the problem is in once that these people around stopped for certain reasons, this person also gives up continuing the work on that purpose. So even if nobody is beside you, don't think it's the end, because you can draw your road in different way towards the goal, if you don’t have affability, or any previous model to follow for encouragement only, you can be the first model for yourself and don’t hesitate to try doing your best, right ! Because it can be with incredible findings on you in somehow.

    It’s very bad that feeling when you’re upset from realizing something you want a lot, these eagerness didn’t missed at all, just it was inanimate (a dormant power) because you got preoccupation with something else. It’s a matter depending a lot to the human psychology that you can play on your feelings, apply some tips to renew your fervency and eagerness to get what you desired to have (recall in mind the importance of this matter in your life as we shown before), and in the results; your hidden feelings see the light again lead them towards your aims in the positive sense of course.

    You know generally, whatever your circumstances are in life, remember after the tightness, they will come the easy times where it’s widen around you (I mean the easiness in your circumstances), and after any hardship that you clash in life, the situation will change to be better and joyful for you. Because it’s a feeling when you get easiness in your everyday life (in comparing with previous hardship) you’ll absolutely feel better than before. Those general words can work in every situation you’ve, you want something, but the situation didn’t help enough to get it, and that‘s still important for you to get in your life. So it’s possible to change it if you hadn’t any new factors affecting on the matter.

    By the way, many people live in the past by their minds whereas their bodies are in the present, we shouldn't rely our life on something we don't possess it yet, and also don't regret on something you can't change, but think about the next step how should it'll be, besides, if you worry about something didn't come, it's better to work enough effort and do your best (when you still have time to do something useful in road) in order to tend far from that you're worried from instead  worrying and regretting after  (that's what we mean by doing more effort). The optimistic mood can bring you the motivation without any extern factor, or you deliberately interpret them towards the positive way to motivate yourself and renew your inner motivation.

    That was the summary and I hope it’ll be helpful to think again and more, deeply about the matter that you’re working on to get, to handle, or to achieve it.

The path to reach the happiness (part 3/3)

   If you’re healthy person now, so you’re better than millions who can continue their lives because of sickness, if you’ve a house and your food in it, you’re better than many nations in the world who can’t get that for one day. If you’re safe, and you’ve not a war, you’re not living in mountains and forests because of battles, tortured or in jails, so you’re better than the half of the people in the world, let us gather these advantages together, and see how much you’re better than many many many of people.

   Remember that when you lose some things in your life and you can’t get them or had something then you lost it, for some reasons, remind always the axis of your life and your general social position, if someone lives forever in a castle and he doesn’t eat anything except the sweets and honey, this person won’t taste this honey, and he won’t feel how much is sweet this honey is he didn’t taste before the bitterness, like that you’ll have a reference to distinguish between the two different senses of taste. It’s the same in life, when you don’t feel the hardness of your efforts; you can’t taste the happiness after that. The sweetness is coming by the tiredness in doing something and working to realize your goals. We can understand the importance of a lot of things when we compare them with the worst cases.

                              The happiness comes through the giving, not taking.

   Search on the happiness By giving : you can’t find a diversity in opinions between philosophers and they agreed that the highest level of happiness comes through giving to others, and not through getting, (Maybe you give a money, maybe a science, maybe a help or advise, …etc) but you’ll feel happy after. And I give an example here, the writers work hard and for late times at nights to revise, write, correct and write again, only to get the final product, it’s very hard working really, it’s big tiredness, but in time where these writers receive the first copy of this book, they forget all pains or white nights, and all the previous tiredness disappears suddenly, they feel so happy in this moment because they succeed to give something for others, although the hardness of the road. Don’t insult everything you can give it, big or small, even a smile! (I talked in previous article about it “who are the best people”). It’ll reflect on you positively, so try to reach your happiness by giving and not always by talking only. Try a different way and preview your feelings after that regardless to the kind of this giving. You’ll be happy when you really enjoy what you’re doing.

   I resume now the matter from these articles and what I wanted to say: It isn’t logic to make your happiness depending on something you don’t have them yet. You should accept your circumstances and because it’s necessary to pass this way (this situation); don’t feel blue and don’t see everything dark, it’s a temporary storm in life you should enjoy it by the available advantages existing, always remember the positive side.

   Just one more thing; try to give a little from your time for others, offer the help if you can that and don’t wait the thank because your good feeling –after that- is your thank for yourself.

    I got this meaning from a poem, and I want to share it with you here:
“The happiness is coming from you, it doesn’t come from far, it’s coming from your mind, from your heart, and it doesn’t come by money,  so be happy by yourself (through your thoughts), and make your happiness by your convictions, or let the matter of happiness for the happy people.”

*This article (third part) is based on a lecture I watched it since 4 or 5 years ago, was talking about the happiness.

The path to reach the happiness (part 2/3)

    I said in the last time about the happiness, and I mentioned that it’s a decision we should do it, and the happiness we make it, and it doesn’t come in coincidences often.

   I heard one scientist talking in a lecture, and he talked about a long study which it made of many specialists to find the reasons of distinguishing and saying: if he’s a smart person or no, then he concluded this word:  “ the cleverness is the adaptation”. How can you adapt with your conditions and your environment in every time and in everywhere you’re.

   Many people got the sadness (the opposite of happiness) because they look at the problem (when there is) they focus on it and forget immediately all the positive things in the life (before getting this hard problem, or before failing to get something you wanted it).  I give a saying here: “one bird between your hands is better than 10 on the tree”, which means: don’t make your happiness relies on something you don’t have them yet, because maybe you won’t get anyone of them. it’s like living in dreams and I said before that it’s wrong in the life to live in imagination (previous article).

  That appears when you want to get something and you’ve a strong eagerness to realize it, but sometimes you can’t do, maybe it isn’t your true way, and your destiny is in other road (I talked in previous article about it). So your happiness should be relied on something you’ve them, not rely on something you wish to have them yet (live your moment !).

  The money was the important reason to make people sad and still until now (for people who haven’t it of course, they feel sad), in contrast; the rich people don’t have an absolute happiness, and maybe less, sometimes they’ve sadness more than the poor. Everyone who gets the livelihood without any effort until his month do you think he is happy? The problem is when you only see to the top and I can make difference between see (look at) / look for. When you look for, it means you’ve a target, and a plan to reach your destination, but when you only see (look at) you’ll got only the bad feelings (the sadness because you haven’t what other people have) when you compare yourself with someone is so far from you, you’ll have this bad feeling. Look at the top only when you think about developing your skills, your career in order to make models for yourself to get progress and development. We need to satisfy by our actual resources and conditions in life and just compare yourself with people near from your position now (if you want to achieve goals), we don’t stop improving to better because we’ve a plan for that, but enjoy your moments now by the available means between your hands, and why not if you can have better after a while. (Live your moment ! with good feeling).

   you’ll look below if you visit the orphan homes, or you go to the hospital, you’ll see the handicapped people there, diseases and illness for young, old, kids, …etc, you’ll understand the graces which you’ve now, you’ll see how much you’re lucky to be healthy, and you can measure this example on many parts in your life (work, personal life, your relationships, ..etc). You can feel happy because you look at people are less than your position now, therefore you feel happy that you’ve many things they haven’t them, you’ll see the several graces on you in the life. You still the same person, but you look differently now, right !!! There you can obtain a different feeling, it’s - of course - positive to make you happy.

   These are the 3 ways to compare yourself with others. And the modality is: when you just look at the people who have a social situation better than you, you got bad feelings from it, whatever when you look at the people with bad situations in their social life, you’ll see how many graces you’ve and of course you get good feelings from the meditation in your graces. And from all that we can deduce that the happiness is a trip and it isn’t a station. If you understand that, you’ll find the happiness in the road constantly when you’ve a purpose you feel of course happy regardless to your tiredness to obtain it. (Live your moment !  to have the good mood and positive power for living the next one).

   Be satisfied on your fate! (The last fate which you can't change it), you'll be the richest. I support the thought which says: the happiness is a decision we have to make it in the life, in the next article I’ll talk about another way to find your happiness.

the path to reach the happiness (part 1/3)

   7.3 billions of people in the world, you can’t find anybody among them who doesn’t want to be happy, all they want and have this purpose, so what can prevent us to be happy people? And why we can’t reach that every day?

   Nobody is excepted from bad conditions, and we all try to overcome them somehow, sometimes we succeed and some others not really.  And as we said already it’s an experience we learned it for the next days, but the hardest situation (in the life) is: when someone feels himself (herself) alone in the hard times. When no one can you rely on him (her).  If you’ve such as this situation I can understand what it means exactly, the people feel themselves with no value in the life in those time.

   One philosopher said: if the person is really: (the son of his parents, and of his environment, the son of his city , of his nation, …etc, if those are all true; so he’s absolutely the son of himself. Which means: your life is made of your thoughts and the result of your decisions, and everything concern you in this life is coming from your decisions. From this idea and the image below we’ll start our discussion.

Look at this picture, and let me see what your mind can tell you :

   In the picture you can see a cup of water (a known example in the world and I used to use it), and it’s (a half full / half empty), what's your choice? left or right ? Usually when someone is depressed, upset or disappointed ….etc, he uses the empty part and express like this : “I can see a cup of water, it’s half empty and it needs many to be filled“, when the person who has a good mood,  and optimistic emotions actually, the answer will be : “I can see a cup of water filled until the half, it’s not absolutely filled but I can see the water inside it.”

   It's depending to our views, and how we react with the environment around us, you’re surrounded with many conditions and your view isn’t the same if we change your mood or if we tell you bad news, it isn’t the same if you hear good news in the same position and event. I’ll tell you what’s better the first answer is “false”, so to tell the ½ filled is better than say ½ empty, which means:

   There are many things good, many advantages, many solutions, just you don't see them, and only see the empty part. You see the sadness, the negative part, the bad scenarios, ..etc. when you change the way which you see yourself, you find a lot of secrets inside you. This cup is a symbolic image for your satisfaction on yourself, and nobody has a full cup until the death of course.

  Maybe you agree with me now here in this point, and if you’ve a hard time in these days you say : “i wasn't always like this before. i don't know what came over me. usually i was strong. i wouldn't never give up but not on the contrary. “ so what happens recently ? what ‘s run with you in this time?

   Listen to me ! The life is like an exam. the obstacles aren’t to preventing us going ahead, but they are tests to make us stronger, and be ready for the next exams in the life, when you overcome something huge, you'll be stronger of course, and when you think “this test is bigger than your powers” (just it looks like that), but in fact it isn't, the difference is: if you give up from trying or not yet. And the saying says: “you don’t fail until you quit” (we talked about that previously).

   You mustn’t make your happiness relies on some wrong convictions you’ve them, and if you look differently to the matter, I mean to don’t rely your happiness on some reasons only because you think that they’ll be useful for your life, because many things look very important but in fact we’ll have a life better without them, and the inverse is correct too, now I want you ask your depths to get a clear answer,  can you look at yourself positively and discover your actual advantages, explore your abilities and all what you can do to pass this moment? Can you ? That let you see differently the life in front of you, and your acts will be surely different when you’ve the optimistic mood. The decreased self-confidence is one of reasons of the sadness. Have a sit please ! and look at yourself what you want exactly, want you to be happy ? (No one will answer “NO” of course), so what do you need more now, just decide to be happy, you shouldn’t wait to have that by luck, you need to decide how to be happy.

   It’s a truth what I’ll say now: Everyone has one advantage (at least) can make him someone special “featured person” in it. You must search about it, to shove your way toward the future.
  If you agree with me, be optimist, please ! Through trusting yourself, and believe that you can overcome all that, motivate yourself and try to increase your self-confidence, don't look at the near results, but the truth is in the end of road. And in the next article I’ll talk about some ways to find (recover) your happiness and continue your life ahead.

where is your opinion ..in your personal issues?

    The mankind is based on social life, and no one can continue a normal life lonely. Which means; it’s necessary to deal with people in everywhere. Some people thank you when you behave kindly with them, and they appreciate that (you’re wonderful, good person, kind …etc.), these are - of course - their opinions about you in this time. In contrast; we can see some misunderstood, or conflicts with relatives, friends, neighbours, or colleagues, even from teachers unfortunately, also we hear like that from teachers, and we hear some descriptions like (you’re so bad person, selfish, stupid, arrogant ...etc.) The descriptions which represent their temporary views about you also, right?

    The pretty thing is that we all hear the both of opinions in different degrees, and that proves that the human isn’t perfect to handle – rightly - everything in front of him; absolutely. But the bad thing is when these views be part of your fate and they bring to you many psychological pressures and mental problems, to be upset, or egoist, desperate, depressed, it can be worse when you lose the confidence in yourself. And you don’t feel yourself an ordinary person like others because of a small changing in your psychology. Then it’ll be difficult to deal with people and treat them even to achieve your goals.

  To overcome your fears from the future, to override these obstacles and realize something you desire in the life, it’s important to know some things:

-         As we said in the previous article; not all what you know is the absolute truth, and maybe a lot of matters which we believe in them, (these matters) they are only some opinions, and they couldn’t be true always. Even the matter how others see you on it

-         All what you hear (from others) about yourself, they’re just views also, depending to the angle which they see you, and they think about you. Even many opinions are similar sometimes, but they still only opinions and they form a part from the truth (because of the similarities in views of many people), and not all the truth.

-         The best way to treat them is to revise yourself and your steps, to look back to your thinking ways and your attitudes with people, in order to regulate these steps, and enhance toward the best. To think maybe you’re wrong in something to make people don’t understand your intentions.

-         The truth is fixed that they stay opinions, and they can change in different moment to the both: best or worse, and remember always that the opinions of people in you; don’t refer or express you necessarily. But the more important thing is your view and your opinion about yourself, after revising (all these data, opinions, conditions around you), revise these reasons together to make your clear view about yourself.

    Now it’s the your minute to think in your opinion about yourself, to do not insult your mind, and to trust more yourself in the next steps, because the life is continued.