The advantages of travelling across the world

   I continue in the idea that says: “Not everything you think it’s good for you; it’s truly the good one.”

   The traveling is something exhausting for everyone although today it’s easier -and a lot- than it was in the past. I won’t talk about touristic traveling here, but I mean when the traveling is a necessary and obligatory in somehow -maybe from a city to another, or even to go to a different country-.

   Usually in those situations; people taste the batter of hard moment to be obliged to do that. That’s one among events which seem bad in first glance, right!! But the history told us many similar experiences and just different in details. The idea is when you feel yourself obliged to leave your current environment for certain reasons, means that you couldn’t get there (in where you’re now) what you look for, and that becomes helpless to you. It’s hard to quit your comfort zone (as many psychologists call that), whereas it doesn’t mean always to be bad as people think (or as imagine), and one scholar and poet said (before centuries)

   For reaching your goals and satisfying your vim; Immigrate in different countries, because you’ll get five benefits from traveling:

The translation is :

 * Immigrate in the homelands to appealing the summits in life, because in traveling there are five (05) benefits:

1- relief of your worries, 2- acquisition of livelihoods, 3- a science and literatures, 4- decency, and 5- a precious companionship whom you really can coexist with them (he meant : the travel shows you the right person who deserves to be your companion).

* And if they tell that in traveling there is humbleness, or an ordeal, and crossing deserts with difficulties of meeting [with family and relatives, which isn’t as hard as in past]; so the death is better for the person instead of sitting at home for deterioration, and suffering from the slander, the censure, or the envy.

   That’s what the poet said from his knowledge and experiences, and to motivate people to traveling without any fears from it, because to be in different place surrounded by different people, all those sides can show the person more opportunities in the new different environment, because s/he can see their life from new perspectives, as the poet said and it can be the opening of your future and the good life in few months of years later. Moreover the advantages and bounties we mentioned above here.

    Many people exploded their powers and reached their horizons just when they travelled and lived in far place different to their hometown city -or country-, because they met with new chances, and their different looking way to the life, then they can see the opportunities which they can work on (whether in studies, or professional career, or any interest in social life of people). They quickly adapt with the environment and naturally they get the inner motivation because it’s a new experience and there is an enthusiasm inside to do more in it, and usually they achieve their goals with some persistence, also they got more skills and experiences in life.

    If you keep your optimist mood and patience, then don’t regret nor doubt from your previous steps, to be sure and confident and strong enough (not to be confused from). To trust them (those experiences) for making new steps forward and while the goal is to improving yourself always; then you’ve to accept starting modestly and convinced.

    And I finish with this adage of one wise man when he said: “I don’t care in the way how I’ll become [in each morning] good or bad, because I don’t know truly where the goodness for me is: in what I like or what I dislike.”

: Is the matter valuable to deserve more effort? Part 02

   We talked last time about an important matter, the self-treatment to continue the working on any project or goal that you want to reach it, and I said that the right and objective definition of the matter from the point of its importance or no in your life. That answer can help you to do the next; we’ll make more examples to explain that.

    Another example: your target is fixed by a time, like your exams will be after a week or 2, a year or just some hours) but you can’t study to them, some laziness and of course no motivation and a little hopeless. Surely where there are exams it’s an important matter for you. And there is some times, it means you still have more time to improve your chance to be closer (to your goal) than before (and here in example; it means also a hope, and an opportunity to keep something in your mind and remind yourself by previous gained knowledge). I can tell something here, logically if you don’t do any effort you won’t pass your exams? But if you think positively; When you start studying probably you won’t reach 100% of your preparation on day of your exams, right, but at least with that effort you’ll realize about 80% (more or less), this percentage isn’t great whereas it’s good enough to enter your exams with hope and in optimistic mood.

    So what prevents you to do your effort? At least you won’t regret on exams’ day that you wasted your time whatever the end is pleasant or not, besides your relaxing inside that you really did your best. You had an experience to be responsible under your pressures, better than being neutral, losing time, mood, and opportunities. In other words; you still have time to do some useful and fruitful effort to achieve a positive result. So find yourself a reason that deserves to do more efforts to ….(here: to learn that), benefit from your time, and invest in it (like in economy +0.01 means a growth and it’s a positive indicator).

    Simply; when you’ve to do something in a certain period, you know it’s very important, so try to do it perfectly, do your best during that period and benefit the most possible you can from it, right! At least when you fight for your goal, you won’t regret later if you lose it.

    That was an example to show the matter how to motivate yourself. You can compare this example with everything in your life that you’ve a project to do, an interview of job, an exam, a presentation, …etc. we don’t neglect some fun from time to time, but it deserves some seriousness from you in order to achieving your goals in life and improving your career. And remember! Because you’re convinced that it’s so important matter for you and your life, and you’ve to do it in the end; so find for yourself the suitable motivation to do it. When you create that inner motivation (or renew it again), you won’t give up even if you stop for years, you’ll retake again one day later.

    Next time; we’ll discuss another matter, it’s depending to one of the human values in life.

Is the matter valuable, to deserve more effort?

    All people are wishing to achieve a lot of things in their lives everyone in the entirely world is working on a plan to get a result in the end in order to make his life comfort, it’s concerning his family, study, career and job, and then it’ll be easier than before.

    But the plan doesn’t work correctly sometimes, and several factors comes within events of daily life suddenly and unexpected, so these factors show the going on plan and add more pressures in the matter, which leads to giving up before reaching the , where the person feels himself remaining in the same place too.

    No enough resources, no free time, no possibilities to do right now, …etc, in general; it’s going to the same sense of “no motivation”, then what to do in that situation?

   When you find yourself in that case, you’ve to handle it by yourself firstly you estimate your target again, does the matter deserve to fight for it? and goal (to work on) is important in your next life? May I give an example here, a student who learns a new language who tried long time with no progress in his linguistic level, so he feels disappointed after that and thinks to abandon. But the answer of that question is depending on your needs, is it important really for you to get that thing (to speak that language in future, maybe it’s job or post-graduating, …etc) ? if it’s the fact , so you shouldn’t stop definitely your learning even if you take a break time, but make it temporary only! Because in every time you remember what you planned to gain in your life after ending that matter (here: being fluent let me do…., and …etc ), it pushes you to be motivated again for the serious working and sets fire in your heart to be hopeful for being like you already planned and like you see in your vision. That’s what’s called the inner motivation regardless to the environment around.

    How to do that? You already estimated the importance of your doing and the necessity to getting for improving your career in next years. So you’re obliged to create the motivation by yourself to keep moving on. Because you don’t need anybody to remind you again that it’s something so important for you and you’ve to do it, and, …etc. I continue with the same example: you’ll have to spend a certain time in class (maybe some hours every week), and you’ll insist to be present and you paid also your fees. So why you can’t pass that time in learning seriously when you’ve to pass it in all cases?

    In the next article, I’ll give another example to tell some reasons make you think about your own business (whatever its kind) and how to push yourself ahead in getting your goal when you really believe that’s precious for you. 

The loneliness is a personal advantage or a social disease (part 02)

    The loneliness starts from a feeling of nobody understands correctly your needs, thoughts and your interests in life, then those people don’t find the essence of themselves (don’t feel their true value as persons), they suffer from some of marginalization in somehow, after that they don’t find any role they can do in life which brings depression, then more sadness, psychological instability ….(bad feelings too). So they prefer to be lonely more to not show their weakness and avoid talking with others even don’t discuss the matter except when it’s necessary. Because no one understands them, and again more depression more sadness until trending toward drugs, drinks, or suicide sometimes.

     I know sometimes you need to stay with yourself to renew your energies and discover yourself again, that’s logical to do, but to isolate yourself from any human interaction, that’s the wrong part in the matter. Maybe you blame yourself because of failures, your body lives in present whereas your feelings and spirit remained in past. You won’t have any progress in your life in this way.  And there is a saying: if you can’t change the circumstances; change your position and your attitude toward them! Look differently to the matter! And the live will flow in the other direction.

  How to do with them?

    Everybody needs help and support, it’s the social life and if you did a great job whereas no one evaluates or estimates well your work, you won’t like what you did, and you won’t enjoy your success at all, because it looks valueless work. Else when your work gets appreciation, and it looks valuable you feel pleasant and really you did something worth. And that’s the social life and the ordinary interaction with people.

    Moreover your destiny will bring to you who can help you in critical times; therefore you’re required to see when others are in need of your help or at least need your understanding as well. To not lose this person in the maze of loneliness; it’s preferably to bring him out by the sincere feeling of the understanding. When the person gets an impression that’s possible to find who can understand him, we won and we did a great achievement. Then the most important thing to do is the trust, it’s the channel to make this person feels your support and understanding, feels his existence in the real world as a member like everyone, all that to let him start talking with someone and break the wall of silence, it’s the first step.

    Secondly try to define for him his role in life (define again: remind him what he’s now? What can he do? And what should he think for to do?), and help to make a clear view for him to continue the life ahead. New dimensions ..with new horizons.

    If it’s in your responsibility or in your work to escort someone, you should provide the necessary help, show him the positive sides in his life, suggest him to join cultural or sportive clubs, improve some new skills and motivate him to learn something new in line with his tendencies, and also offer the guidance to achieve something valuable according to his interests, that recall to him self-esteem, and strengthen his confidence in himself.

How to do if you don’t find help?

    I know that the hardest times for each person are when he’s in need to close people - to standing beside him- and he couldn’t find that support from them, I mean when they aren’t available in the right time.

   The time is going on and you can’t stop the life, just you make yourself in vicious circle like living without existence and I think it isn’t fair enough for yourself. Probably that you don’t find who can help you to overcome that because it’s bad situation that you’re, so what should you do in this case?

    Break the routine! Change the things that you are used to do them every day, especially in weekend if you haven’t time in other days. If you’re working all days, you’re exhausted, go to have some fun (outside the work environment), plan to spend some time with family, friends, go to cinema, theatre, the park, the zoo,…etc or travel to a different city or country maybe.

    All the different kinds of pressures - from several responsibilities in life - lead to exit the life (in fact quit his existence as an active member), but the life doesn’t work like that, we should make effort to override all those, like I mentioned in many previous articles on this blog. Try to be in touch with others more, and discover how many people are different according to your tastes, you'll discover other things yourself within and how much you’ll be pleasant in your life.

The planning separates between the real and unreal goals.

   I mentioned in a previous article, and I made difference between goals and dreams, maybe you spend several years and nothing you achieve at all, then you regret about it, and maybe you ask yourself what’s the problem with me that I can’t do anything, whereas some other can do? So in fact we’re in one from two cases “relaxing dreams” or “realistic dreams”, what Today we’ll talk about, is one (among many) widespread methods to plan for your goals.

   Firstly; the goal must be written on papers, and if you tell me that you know your goal, and they’re in your mind, so that doesn’t work. There are many methods to plan for personal goals or for organizations, like SWOT, POSEE, PMSP…etc. And to knowing more about these, you can check all the different ways.

  Secondly; The goal mustn’t be general (when you say for example: I want to be rich, or I want to lose 20 kilos of my weight, ..etc), because this kind of goals mean you’ll waste more of time, mean more of costs, more of tiredness, the  results are negligible, but the goal must be very specific. Therefore the most the most widely way used in these cases is S.M.A.R.T.

  S: Specific: the goal must be very specific and defined, so instead to say “I want to succeed”, or “I want to improve myself” you must specify in what exactly you want to succeed/ improve yourself? And say:” I want to improve myself in the computer’s skills.”

  M:Measurable: you can measure your goal periodically in order to know where you are now? And that let you see the obstacles which hamper your progress and compare the remaining (percentage with time) it’s good to know your steps in road to achieve your aim and make the necessary modification. The known rule says: “IF YOU CAN NOT MEASURE IT, YOU CAN NOT MANAGE IT”. And our goal becomes: “I want to improve myself in the computer’s skills through reading 10 books and Attend 2 training courses (internship).”
  A: Attainable / Agreed: in this step, we find a difference between the planning for personal goal, and planning for the goals of organization respectively.  Take your time for this planning and ask yourself how can you realize your goal? your qualifications, your means, and the agreement between “leaders of organization” about the details of this goal. (*Organization can be an association, a company, or a ministry, …etc.)

  R: Realistic: simply this part means that the good goal must be “difficult” & “possible”, and here I advise you to avoid the goals which aren’t compatible with your actual powers, skills, and resources. We continue in the same goal: “I want to improve myself in the computer’s skills through reading 10 books and Attend 2 training courses.” It’s a logical goal and not unreal, right !!.

  T: Timed: the goal has to be limited by time, the deadline to achieving your goal, because the opportunities become less when you the time is missing in the plan, and it becomes an opened goal (without confines), it isn’t important when you will realize it and it’s only a wish. The most important is the time of the end to compare with it. The same example becomes: “I want to improve myself in the computer’s skills through reading 4 books and Attend 2 training courses during 6 months.” You see!! And this is the final form of the goal.

    So in brief: the goal must be: Specific & Measurable & Realistic & Timed. If your goals aren’t compatible with these conditions, so you need to think again and plan from the beginning. And that’s what the sciences said.

If you want to make more details in your goal, when you plan for the available means to attain this goal, you follow the same previous steps S.M.A.R.T, and don’t forget to make a written plan for your goals.

where is your opinion ..in your personal issues?

    The mankind is based on social life, and no one can continue a normal life lonely. Which means; it’s necessary to deal with people in everywhere. Some people thank you when you behave kindly with them, and they appreciate that (you’re wonderful, good person, kind …etc.), these are - of course - their opinions about you in this time. In contrast; we can see some misunderstood, or conflicts with relatives, friends, neighbours, or colleagues, even from teachers unfortunately, also we hear like that from teachers, and we hear some descriptions like (you’re so bad person, selfish, stupid, arrogant ...etc.) The descriptions which represent their temporary views about you also, right?

    The pretty thing is that we all hear the both of opinions in different degrees, and that proves that the human isn’t perfect to handle – rightly - everything in front of him; absolutely. But the bad thing is when these views be part of your fate and they bring to you many psychological pressures and mental problems, to be upset, or egoist, desperate, depressed, it can be worse when you lose the confidence in yourself. And you don’t feel yourself an ordinary person like others because of a small changing in your psychology. Then it’ll be difficult to deal with people and treat them even to achieve your goals.

  To overcome your fears from the future, to override these obstacles and realize something you desire in the life, it’s important to know some things:

-         As we said in the previous article; not all what you know is the absolute truth, and maybe a lot of matters which we believe in them, (these matters) they are only some opinions, and they couldn’t be true always. Even the matter how others see you on it

-         All what you hear (from others) about yourself, they’re just views also, depending to the angle which they see you, and they think about you. Even many opinions are similar sometimes, but they still only opinions and they form a part from the truth (because of the similarities in views of many people), and not all the truth.

-         The best way to treat them is to revise yourself and your steps, to look back to your thinking ways and your attitudes with people, in order to regulate these steps, and enhance toward the best. To think maybe you’re wrong in something to make people don’t understand your intentions.

-         The truth is fixed that they stay opinions, and they can change in different moment to the both: best or worse, and remember always that the opinions of people in you; don’t refer or express you necessarily. But the more important thing is your view and your opinion about yourself, after revising (all these data, opinions, conditions around you), revise these reasons together to make your clear view about yourself.

    Now it’s the your minute to think in your opinion about yourself, to do not insult your mind, and to trust more yourself in the next steps, because the life is continued.