the true value isn’t the same like we see (part 2).

   I said in the previous article how we evaluate some matter by wrong ways, it’s easy when we deal with things in our lives but it’s a little sensible with people. As I said before; what seems easy, it’s not in the reality, if we meditate well, we’ll find it as the resultant for many previous works you did them separately. Which means you should appreciate that and make it valuable too although you think that you got it easily. That appears clearly when the matter concerns the way of dealing with the nature. We don’t appreciate it as the same what it deserves, we don’t care seriously about it, therefore we start lose a lot from its features. You can understand what I mean now, right ! So take the same example on different matter in your life.

   People are different in their characters from good to bad, from calm to the arrogant, surely you experimented these in your life and you met from all kinds. When the person is humble, kind, friendly, you feel comfort with this person and your relationship can develop to be better and stronger.

  You find the suitable climate to strengthen this relation because the other side allowed that, and you don’t see it so important for you really. The way was easy to have this person in your life therefore you don’t present a good treatment, he (she) doesn’t get a huge interest from your side, usually you don’t care a lot about that. In the same time when your knowledge to this person took your interest (according to this person’s position in life), you did some efforts to strengthen the relation and you tire yourself to broaden it (usually that happens mutually), for some reasons, maybe a business gathered you in one way together, or work, or any interesting project in this worldly life. The both of you are cautious in every step to keep the nature of relation and let it's going normally, and the both of you see its importance (perhaps because of reciprocal benefits) with time you can see the fake goodness of some people around you and the true of others.

   When you see a person who forgives your mistakes, tolerant with everything you do it, don’t think that because of weakness of this person’s personality, he (she) did that willingly although there are many other reactions possible, he (she) preferred this doing for certain reasons, and not because he (she) is absurd.

   In brief: you respect somebody when you consider them care a lot of about your being with them, because they seem (and you think that) precious people, however; you don’t care about your doing or your reactions against the person who looks like easy to get (in your mind of course). And that happens often between friends.

   In the end, maybe you can’t see their true value (of these people) even you made them impatient with you and they leave you forever, there you feel what you really lose in your life. It’s precious to have these people in your life. Usually we don’t see the importance of these people starting from the family members even we lose them.

  The true value of every person appears when this person shows you his (her) respect and care every time (it’s a grace when you get care from others and they like you, appreciate your opinions, your advices). Many people haven’t what you have; only you don’t appreciate that. If you don’t see it, you’ll regret later when you don’t find these nice people by your side (neither the bad people who look for their benefits, nothing else).

  If you don’t think seriously to keep this grace – these precious people around you-, you’ll lose them, right, and perhaps you won’t get the chance to find like that companionship in all the next years of life.

the true value isn’t the same like we see

   When we seek for obtain a lot of things in your life, of course (without any doubt) you won’t get all what you wish. But certain ones of them you’ll have them. We’ve abilities to realize them and we’ve means also which differ from a person to another.

(* Ability: the human power used to treat, to do, to analyse, and to react about something.)

(* Possibility: cover the available means and conditions around you in order to facilitate your steps on the road to do something.)

   I’m not talking today about the first side ( the mentally differences between people), we’ll discourse about the second side which concern basically the environment, and sometimes we meet difficulties where we test rightly these various powers and tools to realize these wishes in the fact.

   Usually; you do an enormous effort to get them, and this effort let you estimate how much us valuable this result. When the work was hard to do something, later; you estimate it as a precious thing for your life.

   In the other hand ; when you get something easily or without making any effort maybe other people helped you or bring it to you, you won’t make any care or value for this thing, because you can have it in anytime you want it ( it’s between your hands and he’s you who commands ).

   Remember now what’s the actual goal you work to achieve it, and how you think it’s important for you, maybe this goal is a good business deal, or graduating, investment or any project means a lot for you. What are the reasons make you think that they’re important? {Simply because you know that the precious things can’t come in easy}. Maybe it’s true and I agree with you but relatively only, let me tell you why.

   When you get something without effort surely you don’t make a big care about it, and you insult that because if you lose it you can hold it again (Like keys in your hand). So many things in your life look so precious in your opinion, but in fact they aren’t. You worked seriously to obtain them, in result to earn from it later, therefore you’re eager to obtain it and spend your time, your resources (waiting for the happy results).

    What I want to clarify here is: what we own in easy (maybe) or just it seems like that, and we don’t evaluate it. We don’t feel how much it’s necessary for the actual condition even we lose it. In that time we see how wrong we were before, and we were like foolish people because we didn’t evaluate rightly the matter. In that time the regret won’t be useful for you. It’s normal to be mistaken in case of when you can correct that later and maybe to possess the missed things again, but how can you do when he matter is a person? The next article will show the details of this aspect.

Be vigilant! , Don’t jump on the ladder to don’t fall down on the floor.

   When we’re young; we’ve many different wishes in the life, also the dreams are in the top degree because of many reasons, principally immaturity of these young sometimes, and in many other times the big hole between the theoretical thinking (wishes) and the life in fact. These young people get the first shocks when they are confronted with the reality outside home and university. It seems a little different to what you’d in mind “before”.

   Before this time you had less of responsibilities, less of obligations to do, but now you must work, activate, be a productive person, to have your own life and be responsible on everything depend to you.

   In the first time, this young thinks “maybe it’s a temporary event, a temporary crisis, and everything will be –soon- okay and like in the plan. But many times it isn’t true; it won’t be as you planned. And when you can’t continue in this way, You should be flexible with the matter and adopt a little with your environment.

   In these times; you should make a distinction between two things which you confused already between them, the ambition, and the dream. The first one means: something is difficult to get it, hard to achieve it, but it’s possible to do (with a certain time), the second means: it’s impossible to realize that in the reality because of many reasons they could be (the time, the environment, the abilities, the temporary life conditions, and maybe we can mix them too…)

   It’s an important idea for the next days, the next years and all your life, why important? To regulate the plan, to modify and adopt your direction, remove something, add others, classify priorities, ..etc, I don’t want to fix you here, or make you disappointed from that, the dreams are existing in the human life, they come in minds to let us keep the hope and don’t surrender, but your sitting between dreams and your imaginations is like a drug for your mind to live a virtual life. (Keeping in mind the previous separation between ambition and dream), because it doesn’t let you do anything in fact. You just decoy yourself when the time is going on.

“If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place”

  This idea (of regularization \ of self-organization) will be always with you, and every time you’ll have some breakpoints to apply that and adopt again your new direction. There are many ways to define the gaols so that you have them, -probably I will talk about that in the next articles -.

  It’s the wisdom to deviate a little far from your way, but you don’t leave your headlines which you already drew them. When you look back and see the traces of your steps, you can evaluate them only if you’re objective with yourself. So as not to break your heart or to block your mind, to not waste yourself and your life; think about efficient goals in your life to feel positively and can to do more; later, and make them (these goals) as intermediate step for your targets, and don’t jump from the first step toward the goal. You’ve to be patient and don’t hurry to get immediate results.

  Of course; you still keep your goals with you, and you’ll work until the end to realize your aims and to get those targets in the life, but maybe in different way (According to the environment around you).

  You’ll have some opportunities in the road, and also obstacles from the same nature -from time to time-. If you’re clever enough you’ll invest in these moments to cross many steps in your life, and achieve your regulated goals (according to actual conditions) in the end.

When the failed try means the luck and it can be successful.

People today want to learn more, work, study, learn always how to make plans from life, plan to develop their careers, to realize several purposes corresponding the interests in life, and the life imposes these differences between them, especially young people who like to achieve something because they’re so ambitious and it’s good when you realize important step, and (after that) you feel so happy because of it. It’s a motivation for you to do more and more in your life.

That’s the ordinary scenario and the general way of human life, but sometimes he winds don’t run where the boats wish to go, and you meet some obstacles in the road, you failed in your try to realize this important thing for your life. Many people disappointed from it, and it’s logical reaction because the wish didn’t become real yet. Sometimes worse, I mean when you get in mind to stop thinking definitively to doing that again.

That’s true but it should be temporary, which means: you can try again with different way and you’ll have surely different results in the end.

We’ve a saying tells: “every horse has a stumble, and every skilful had a lapse” there it’s normal if you meet such frustration when you tried to achieve something and tell me honestly: “how many cases like you in the world? And how many case like that happened with you and they made you stronger than before, wiser than before, lead you to learn many things in the road only because you experimented them through those tries”.

If you stop trying now, I can make sure that it’s impossible to do anything, because there is no effort (null inputs). A lot of people got a great success in the life (which they never imagine it), they got it in the second try after losing in the first. They got a big change in life, immense transitions in their subways from this domain to another, They found their new ways differently to the previous, they had (and have) different lives now; in this case the failed try was a gift for them to find the way, to achieve a valuable career(furthermore the experiences).

The main point is when you failed to do something rightly - according to your plan - and don’t realize your aim, it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to do (at reverse) it’s just “a try” is failed for some certain existing reasons. Now you’ve an experience about the matter, new input will give you a new output (of course it’ll be different than the previous).

When someone in the world already succeed to do it - before you - so you can do it also now, you shouldn’t surrender, because the distinction is so clear between “the failed try” and “the impossibility”, this is the difference in your mind.

There is a possibility somehow to do and to get your targets, you mustn’t stop trying when you still alive. Your experiences bring to you the wisdom to treat your next days in the life with a good way.

the dialogue, the best way of communication (to keeping your relationships)

    Nobody disagrees that the dialog is important in life between people, and through it we can make a platform for our relationships and understand each other, regardless to the type of these relations. But: some people prefer their impression to define the way of communication with others, and they interpret by their minds only instead to make debates and talking explicitly.

     I give you some examples: “my friends didn’t call me last 2 weeks and I think this friend is angry at me”, or “there’s something new, it happened but my friend didn’t tell me about it yet, and i heard from others. I think there is a problem when he (she) didn’t tell me immediately about it”.  Even now “I just THINK”, right !!! And I’m sure that you’ve that in your life, with friends, colleagues, at least it happened once. And many other examples are in people’s life. The problems appear when you let your thoughts go far and without any criteria you start to react from them, which are made of your fiction only, in many times so far from the fact. Your imagination brings you this reasoning and these conclusions to destabilize your relations with this person or that friend, and probably it’ll be broken in the end.

    It was nice to so do something better (before tiring your mind by empty thinking, and interpret something aren’t true), it’s better to talk directly with the concerned person in the matter, and shorten your way.

   I advise you (in your talking) to use the decency of dialogue, don’t rely on your thoughts at all, ask: “what happens?” in first, what’s the strange income in last days? The reasons which lead you to this situation. Then inquire about the details, make a positive dialogue, honest conversation, because when the other person clarifies the matter to you, certainly you’ll avoid a lot of conflicts in your mind, and with this person (friend or colleague,..).

   That it happens often between friends, and sometimes these thoughts let the relation in forested position, you shouldn’t forget that your goal to get a progress, not to establish the proof on this friend that he (she) is wrong. In order to strengthen the relation not to look like winner and lose people who are around you. Remember that always before doing any stupid reaction can make you regret.

   My friend, if you’ve anything about me, or any strange feeling about me; please I’ll be grateful if you tell me honestly about it, and we can talk about the matter and handle everything together, it’ s better than staying in doubts.

   Don’t let your thoughts fill the gaps in your mind to give answers, and these guesses decide in your place and define your treatment with people, there is always a way better to keep your relationships well, when you talk clearly and hear what the other side has in mind, you can understand the answer, after that you can judge and decide.

our relashionships .. with family memebers (2)

    The family is considered the basic cell in the society and we can’t reach to stability of society if we don’t reform this important element. The contemporary lifestyles touched a lot the strength of family ties and affected on them, and many families stay only relied by the same name, and that’s only what gathers them in fact. Sadly these situations hurt many people in different degrees.

    When the parents were playing with their children for a long time, today the technology takes the mission from them. The lifestyles today with these new technologies and a lot of business, all that let people in family like machines, and they rarely meet themselves and sit in the same place. Therefore the care of family - almost - has no priority in the human life and the relations became weak more and more.

    I said in the previous article that some families are like enemies, and I repeat again now: if someone in in family turns back on you, you don’t do the same and turn your back on him (her, them) you should confront the bad treatment by the good treatment that it proves your high qualities. I confirm to you to think again and take a step to reform your relations. I don’t tell you it’s easy to do it, but it can be easier if you look from another aspect to the matter, and the pains disappear (or -at least- they’ll decrease) when we forgive less than when we keep a certain distance away from them.

   I wonder from one thing; when someone didn’t talk to his (her) brother (or sister, parents) for months or for few years maybe, so what’s the meaning of the brotherhood in your dictionary? Which meaning do you have for the words: brother, sister, parents, family; if you can’t forgive the mistakes of your brother, or sister, or any member in family? I tell you: you can’t define clearly them to me now if you’re in this situation, and you can't give a strict definition. Because these words have no sense and the meaning is empty from your side.

   if you want to satisfy yourself and give yourself some answers about your truth, I ask you to strengthen your relationships with family by “respecting the elderly members, visiting family members, checking on them, helping them, showing mercy to youngsters, offering support to all in times of joy and sorrow.”(Dr.Al-Nabulsi)

   All this good treatment brings you the happiness and expresses your real value in the life. That’s the way to give us finally reformed society (for our safety) by strengthening the family ties, because it’s the missed thing in the world and it’s the spirit of the civilization.

     In brief: I ask you to care more about these matters in your life with family, especially with parents of one of them. Because you won’t give them their rights on you whatever you do good for them.

Our relationships .. With our family members.

     The family; we can’t preferring anything else instead of them, they’re always in the first place and we feel more safety when we see them around. In some cases the relationship with one member among them or maybe more, - this relationship- suffers from some troubles, and unfortunately for years also it’s broken between the brothers and sisters.

     That’s our topic today, we’ll define the nature of these relationships, and moreover we’ll find a way to treat them in the goodness.

     I met many people and friends too who told me that they’ve problems in their families; they see that’s impossible to handle them, because the reactions were worse too. Problems with uncles and aunts, even with brothers and sisters “it’s so awful really.”

    We start with some questions: when it was the last time where you sit with your parents and you talked to them for while in different topics? Or may I ask about the last call between you and them?!!! Many people wished to have a sister and you can’t see how much you’re lucky to have this sister? Regardless if she’s sometimes stubborn, but she’s your sister; right? I think it’s a much luck and it’s very good feature to have her (or his). I heard about many people who wish to have a sister or brother, they wish to meet their parents once, but they can’t because the dead can’t return to life again.

    In family; you all like each other so much; you’ll have these conflicts sometimes and because of this strong reliance and love between you; you always return to each other and continue again like nothing happened before, because the love overcomes the anger and the forgiveness wins finally

    I expect this end for some reasons, if your brother or sister is “Soft-headed”, I don’t think that you’re also the same, else you’ll react badly too. If you’re still reading now so I guess you want to find a solution for this kind of situations.

    The life is so short, and remember always that you’ll regret the days where you’re far from the family, I don’t mean by “far” in the physical distance, but the distance between hearts. Even they behave wrong with you, you shouldn’t react wrong, or you confront them with their bad deeds, and you should correct that and keep this warm relation to continue more. They’re humans and they can do mistakes, else why I’m his brother (her sister) if I can’t forgive him (her)? That’s why we’re a family.

    We all need a second chance and be optimist to get great relationships, because the only “thing to correct the mistakes of others is: to do the right thing in return when you react. “The forgiveness (the tolerance) is the first step to reach the happiness.” Later I’ll talk more about the family ties, like a symbol of humanity and model of human life. We’ll be glad if you share us your opinions and comments.