the true value isn’t the same like we see (part 2).

   I said in the previous article how we evaluate some matter by wrong ways, it’s easy when we deal with things in our lives but it’s a little sensible with people. As I said before; what seems easy, it’s not in the reality, if we meditate well, we’ll find it as the resultant for many previous works you did them separately. Which means you should appreciate that and make it valuable too although you think that you got it easily. That appears clearly when the matter concerns the way of dealing with the nature. We don’t appreciate it as the same what it deserves, we don’t care seriously about it, therefore we start lose a lot from its features. You can understand what I mean now, right ! So take the same example on different matter in your life.

   People are different in their characters from good to bad, from calm to the arrogant, surely you experimented these in your life and you met from all kinds. When the person is humble, kind, friendly, you feel comfort with this person and your relationship can develop to be better and stronger.

  You find the suitable climate to strengthen this relation because the other side allowed that, and you don’t see it so important for you really. The way was easy to have this person in your life therefore you don’t present a good treatment, he (she) doesn’t get a huge interest from your side, usually you don’t care a lot about that. In the same time when your knowledge to this person took your interest (according to this person’s position in life), you did some efforts to strengthen the relation and you tire yourself to broaden it (usually that happens mutually), for some reasons, maybe a business gathered you in one way together, or work, or any interesting project in this worldly life. The both of you are cautious in every step to keep the nature of relation and let it's going normally, and the both of you see its importance (perhaps because of reciprocal benefits) with time you can see the fake goodness of some people around you and the true of others.

   When you see a person who forgives your mistakes, tolerant with everything you do it, don’t think that because of weakness of this person’s personality, he (she) did that willingly although there are many other reactions possible, he (she) preferred this doing for certain reasons, and not because he (she) is absurd.

   In brief: you respect somebody when you consider them care a lot of about your being with them, because they seem (and you think that) precious people, however; you don’t care about your doing or your reactions against the person who looks like easy to get (in your mind of course). And that happens often between friends.

   In the end, maybe you can’t see their true value (of these people) even you made them impatient with you and they leave you forever, there you feel what you really lose in your life. It’s precious to have these people in your life. Usually we don’t see the importance of these people starting from the family members even we lose them.

  The true value of every person appears when this person shows you his (her) respect and care every time (it’s a grace when you get care from others and they like you, appreciate your opinions, your advices). Many people haven’t what you have; only you don’t appreciate that. If you don’t see it, you’ll regret later when you don’t find these nice people by your side (neither the bad people who look for their benefits, nothing else).

  If you don’t think seriously to keep this grace – these precious people around you-, you’ll lose them, right, and perhaps you won’t get the chance to find like that companionship in all the next years of life.

the true value isn’t the same like we see

   When we seek for obtain a lot of things in your life, of course (without any doubt) you won’t get all what you wish. But certain ones of them you’ll have them. We’ve abilities to realize them and we’ve means also which differ from a person to another.

(* Ability: the human power used to treat, to do, to analyse, and to react about something.)

(* Possibility: cover the available means and conditions around you in order to facilitate your steps on the road to do something.)

   I’m not talking today about the first side ( the mentally differences between people), we’ll discourse about the second side which concern basically the environment, and sometimes we meet difficulties where we test rightly these various powers and tools to realize these wishes in the fact.

   Usually; you do an enormous effort to get them, and this effort let you estimate how much us valuable this result. When the work was hard to do something, later; you estimate it as a precious thing for your life.

   In the other hand ; when you get something easily or without making any effort maybe other people helped you or bring it to you, you won’t make any care or value for this thing, because you can have it in anytime you want it ( it’s between your hands and he’s you who commands ).

   Remember now what’s the actual goal you work to achieve it, and how you think it’s important for you, maybe this goal is a good business deal, or graduating, investment or any project means a lot for you. What are the reasons make you think that they’re important? {Simply because you know that the precious things can’t come in easy}. Maybe it’s true and I agree with you but relatively only, let me tell you why.

   When you get something without effort surely you don’t make a big care about it, and you insult that because if you lose it you can hold it again (Like keys in your hand). So many things in your life look so precious in your opinion, but in fact they aren’t. You worked seriously to obtain them, in result to earn from it later, therefore you’re eager to obtain it and spend your time, your resources (waiting for the happy results).

    What I want to clarify here is: what we own in easy (maybe) or just it seems like that, and we don’t evaluate it. We don’t feel how much it’s necessary for the actual condition even we lose it. In that time we see how wrong we were before, and we were like foolish people because we didn’t evaluate rightly the matter. In that time the regret won’t be useful for you. It’s normal to be mistaken in case of when you can correct that later and maybe to possess the missed things again, but how can you do when he matter is a person? The next article will show the details of this aspect.

the dialogue, the best way of communication (to keeping your relationships)

    Nobody disagrees that the dialog is important in life between people, and through it we can make a platform for our relationships and understand each other, regardless to the type of these relations. But: some people prefer their impression to define the way of communication with others, and they interpret by their minds only instead to make debates and talking explicitly.

     I give you some examples: “my friends didn’t call me last 2 weeks and I think this friend is angry at me”, or “there’s something new, it happened but my friend didn’t tell me about it yet, and i heard from others. I think there is a problem when he (she) didn’t tell me immediately about it”.  Even now “I just THINK”, right !!! And I’m sure that you’ve that in your life, with friends, colleagues, at least it happened once. And many other examples are in people’s life. The problems appear when you let your thoughts go far and without any criteria you start to react from them, which are made of your fiction only, in many times so far from the fact. Your imagination brings you this reasoning and these conclusions to destabilize your relations with this person or that friend, and probably it’ll be broken in the end.

    It was nice to so do something better (before tiring your mind by empty thinking, and interpret something aren’t true), it’s better to talk directly with the concerned person in the matter, and shorten your way.

   I advise you (in your talking) to use the decency of dialogue, don’t rely on your thoughts at all, ask: “what happens?” in first, what’s the strange income in last days? The reasons which lead you to this situation. Then inquire about the details, make a positive dialogue, honest conversation, because when the other person clarifies the matter to you, certainly you’ll avoid a lot of conflicts in your mind, and with this person (friend or colleague,..).

   That it happens often between friends, and sometimes these thoughts let the relation in forested position, you shouldn’t forget that your goal to get a progress, not to establish the proof on this friend that he (she) is wrong. In order to strengthen the relation not to look like winner and lose people who are around you. Remember that always before doing any stupid reaction can make you regret.

   My friend, if you’ve anything about me, or any strange feeling about me; please I’ll be grateful if you tell me honestly about it, and we can talk about the matter and handle everything together, it’ s better than staying in doubts.

   Don’t let your thoughts fill the gaps in your mind to give answers, and these guesses decide in your place and define your treatment with people, there is always a way better to keep your relationships well, when you talk clearly and hear what the other side has in mind, you can understand the answer, after that you can judge and decide.

Time out .. to look back.

The life is full of coincidences, surprises, and many events, for everybody. And we’ve to interact  with them and have a reaction toward everything happen.

The majority of these crossroads happen in second and third decades of our lives (an a little bit maybe happen before too). Where the friends are as close as the family (or more), where we start really make deals and pacts with this world.

In first clash with real face of life, we don’t know what we should do exactly, we walk in very careful steps (less experiences), or stat imitating people around us, to feel by some of confidence. The fate gives us many opportunities to meet precious people (and some people want to help us, and others hurt us in somehow), but the good news is:

That the both are giving the help, the first one is easy to understand, but the second is an experience which makes us stronger than before in front of life. And the two kinds of people, together; guide us to conclude that in the life we must go ahead.

And of course, the years are expiring quickly, and the life also, new experiences, new knowledge and new people around us too.

 It’s sooo busy life, right ? !!! the success after another .. and everything looks well, because we feel that. We’re still looking for the future and we think a lot how can we make a great future, but before few months, or years …etc we felt the same ( I guess). The question is :

Why we forgot the people of preview years (or just months) ? you can answer me that is the life.  But let me try to help you in answer, some people were beside you in bad times (all time) and you should be grateful to them ( at least by staying in touch with them), because now; you’re us you’re it, through their help and their standing beside you,  ( the problem is that we forgot the bad times, when we’re fine , and also forgot that kind people.) and we don’t appreciate really what others did for us in those times.

Did you think maybe one of them  desperately need you now ? or just talk with ( to give the feeling of not isolation ) Prove him ( her) that he (she) isn’t excluded or  marginalized.

I’ll tell my opinion here, if you never thought about that, even these people were always so kind and polite with you, always, so you worthily have honor of appellation ” SELFISH “.

Why not, now you have many people and friends, you don’t need ancients of them, you abhor to think in old way, as you were before, yes ! even you were also happy how you were in that time.

If you continue thinking in the same way as you’re now, and stay in contact with these friends, what can change? Nothing !!!

The word “precious”, means that’s rarely to find such as that thing. And also the friend, when you find him \ her, you’ll be so stupid if you left him \ her after short time.

The life can change our interests, but shouldn’t change our good principles, our good qualities,  And if the future is everything for you, so no future without your outcomes from past.

Maybe someone agrees with me, and someone no, share with us your opinions and answers about these questions.