I can’t bear more, is there any hope? (part 02)

in the same context with the previous part; where I took the health’s problems as an example to show some views about the matter of bearing more time the current situation.

I said also that to coping the situation is depending to the hope, if you lose the gleam of your hope in the matter -that probably it can be fine-, so you’re late to think about it, better to not think again.

It is normal when someone is confused about the way to handle, that's not only your feeling, because it’s the same like many people just with different problems that clash them, maybe you prefer to surrender because of some hopeless thoughts but it’s wrong choice, when you’re feeling so weak; remember it doesn't mean the end of course, our powers and moral are like a curve (up & down), and also the process of life. Now weak and after a while you become stronger, when it’s in a positive moment so it's your chance to pass that hardness of your problem.

By the way, "to overcome a problem, never means that you finished from it, but it means that you handle it and you found a way to deal with"

i guess the majority of people isn't completely healthy in this world and, at least have some psychological problems or some fears from the future (the environment brings that instability because of the mess of events), and with the same example I can say that a lot of people suffer from health, just different diseases which are in degrees too, remarkable or not, ...etc.

When you repeat your mind the thought that ‘you’re feeling weak and can’t resist, of course you’ll be convinced -after a while- that you’re weak and your body get a weakness too, but if you believe in the inverse, just be accustomed with different falls and rises of life during years.

Sometimes it's a matter of psychology and the problem is your attitude from the problem, not the problem itself, when you can overcome in the moment that you find a logical way to deal with, wisely and effectively, and that’s the most important in the way to reach the end of problem. Probably the physical pains are still with you, but their pressures which affect on your other sides of life will decrease in your psychology from inside, so you can bear more and I said mores:

why not to be living together with a bit sickness whereas you’re treating yourself and using constantly the suitable medicine for it, until you recover and get healing, or you maybe forget that you're sick (get used with time), that's not a disaster, and maybe later that sickness will disappear (if you’re doing the necessary and using medicines as an ordinary treatment), and to accepting yourself as you’re in fact doesn’t mean you don’t look for change, because the psychological side helped you a lot when you forget about the matter which is usually some fears from future.

Basically the problem is not only in the health that it can be perhaps with people themselves or someone else that and need their care (like one of parents or kids who is unable), it can be also in job’s tasks, personal life, or when dealing with relatives…etc, always you shouldn’t neglect the side how to look to the matter regardless to ordinary process of treatment.

So generally; it isn’t depending completely to the case itself, but to the way how you deal with and treat it, else this weakness will remain with you longer in your life, no different thought means no different situation.  That you change your perspective about the matter; it’s the best way to adapt with your circumstances, get rid of your fears, and can bear more that situation with a good feeling in your mood for reaching the best in wise steps.

I can’t bear more, is there any hope?

    Several problems that can be at work, or health problems, familiar or personal problems too, the human being (in his life) is exposed to have, which apply a huge pressures on him. The matter to deal with is difficult of course, and it’s depending to his view to the matter, and his way to deal with. This situation leads to have an impression of no way to reaching a happy end after all that.

    When someone realize that the people around are living a perfect life without problems, and only he who suffers from that, he feels himself so weak. The feeling of weakness -because of the hard circumstances- makes the life so difficult, and that can affect on the entirely life of the person, in his work, at home with family, or with himself because of the pressures applied from those circumstances. That feeling comes when the person thinks himself the only person who’s flopping in bad times, and that’s the reason of the weakness.

    I heard from someone that it seems like “the life is playing a strange game in this way” because of some illness and other stuffs too (the reason can be everything, but I can take that as example), that’s hard a little because of no outlet to make an end to the problem.  Maybe you’ve the same situation in your life like with my friend, just with differences in details or places only, and it’s happening with everyone.

    the people whom you see in everywhere in streets, at work, on TV, all have that strange game, only it doesn't appear for you in the same way that it appears in their lives, what appears from your perspective is only their interface, and behind; there is a big mess in the life, people usually are keen to show only the perfect sides which are shining in the life to fascinating others, and the same with everyone in his life when he deals with others, then others will get the impression that he’s living a perfect life whereas he isn’t. So we can realize that some people have really a game stranger than yours as other have less too. You –or everyone- only think the inverse about others, when they all struggle with that and constantly they keep trying to cope, but to overcome that strange game (problem), it’s not depending only to resources (opportunities) of everyone but also his energies and his thoughts as well. Because if you’ve a gleam into your heart that protect you from being completely upset for 100%, so there is a little bit of positive energy to work by it in order to exploiting your remaining time.

    The previous article discussed this matter, I mean when you’re obliged to do something valuable in your life, it’s better to do your best in it, with a wish to get the result that you look for, instead to deepen in your fears towards the worse. So you do your best when you’ve that hope of course. Because the hope -that you will reach a situation better than you’ve now- is the essence of activeness to someone for changing his life towards the best. 

Don't refrain yourself from telling good words!

   The life requires being in touch with people because of plenty of reasons in order to deal then to obtain the desires and interests.

    Nobody denies that the pressures (which come through life’s events and problems) they tire the person and break his will to doing something important as we said before. So it’s an ordinary fact that everyone can have in his life.

    In many times these situations are hard to overcoming them alone and maybe the solution -to handle them- comes from a separated person to the matter as the talking (with someone truthful and trustworthy who can understand you very well as he can understand that matter) is very helpful psychologically in way to resolve your problems, also the listening is useful too.

    If you already met that or someone whom you know in this case (your friend, sibling, colleagues, or just you met him in bus one day) and you heard from him that what’ we mentioned above, it means that this person has a need for help, and hoping to find something with you, else he couldn’t tell you explicitly, if you’re in this case and you can say something useful, so don’t hesitate to tell it (in order to add  a positive value of course), don’t hold back the good words from going outside of your heart! Even if you weren’t asked directly to tell; that you’re able; so release your tongue to bring a positive addition, and to be like a brightening source for your listeners. That because you don’t have the same stress and pressures, so you can bring a different view to the matter and telling your opinion in its positive sense. In the end it’s an opinion but it can be an important part of solution.

    You’re able to tell something useful about the matter that you heard, tell it when you’re permitted to tell! The time goes on, and maybe you forget after a while what you already said, whereas that person will live those words in his reality “like a medicine” where they affected positively on him and on his life generally forever. So that concerned person can recover the hope from your good words, you may be raising his morale, help to change a conviction to the better, all those results can come just through your wise word when you said it.

    You aren’t waiting for any recompense neither thanking, after that try to helping (because maybe you just met once and only one in your life) just do it for nothing in return as a service to someone even when you don’t know him. But when you grant this favour it’ll bring the happiness to your heart that you did something valuable really, one day you’ll meet also who tells you a good word and helps you. Don’t stop telling helpful words when you can that. Just keep yourself saying good words for people whom you know or you meet always in everywhere you’re whatever the situation, that’s better than keeping the silence and being neutral.

    In fact; don’t refrain yourself from telling good words necessary for the situation when you think  it’s the suitable time for it, that favour can be so instrumental for the second person when you do it, in our life it can be also wider than to be limited in words, maybe a mental or a physical effort, every favour (small or big) it’s a great service.

Is the matter valuable to deserve more effort? Part 03

    I want to summarize what I talked about in last two articles, about motivating yourself by yourself when no way to get that from your environment.

Some people also get motivation when they’ve companions in the same way and they’re working in the same target, the problem is in once that these people around stopped for certain reasons, this person also gives up continuing the work on that purpose. So even if nobody is beside you, don't think it's the end, because you can draw your road in different way towards the goal, if you don’t have affability, or any previous model to follow for encouragement only, you can be the first model for yourself and don’t hesitate to try doing your best, right ! Because it can be with incredible findings on you in somehow.

    It’s very bad that feeling when you’re upset from realizing something you want a lot, these eagerness didn’t missed at all, just it was inanimate (a dormant power) because you got preoccupation with something else. It’s a matter depending a lot to the human psychology that you can play on your feelings, apply some tips to renew your fervency and eagerness to get what you desired to have (recall in mind the importance of this matter in your life as we shown before), and in the results; your hidden feelings see the light again lead them towards your aims in the positive sense of course.

    You know generally, whatever your circumstances are in life, remember after the tightness, they will come the easy times where it’s widen around you (I mean the easiness in your circumstances), and after any hardship that you clash in life, the situation will change to be better and joyful for you. Because it’s a feeling when you get easiness in your everyday life (in comparing with previous hardship) you’ll absolutely feel better than before. Those general words can work in every situation you’ve, you want something, but the situation didn’t help enough to get it, and that‘s still important for you to get in your life. So it’s possible to change it if you hadn’t any new factors affecting on the matter.

    By the way, many people live in the past by their minds whereas their bodies are in the present, we shouldn't rely our life on something we don't possess it yet, and also don't regret on something you can't change, but think about the next step how should it'll be, besides, if you worry about something didn't come, it's better to work enough effort and do your best (when you still have time to do something useful in road) in order to tend far from that you're worried from instead  worrying and regretting after  (that's what we mean by doing more effort). The optimistic mood can bring you the motivation without any extern factor, or you deliberately interpret them towards the positive way to motivate yourself and renew your inner motivation.

    That was the summary and I hope it’ll be helpful to think again and more, deeply about the matter that you’re working on to get, to handle, or to achieve it.

: Is the matter valuable to deserve more effort? Part 02

   We talked last time about an important matter, the self-treatment to continue the working on any project or goal that you want to reach it, and I said that the right and objective definition of the matter from the point of its importance or no in your life. That answer can help you to do the next; we’ll make more examples to explain that.

    Another example: your target is fixed by a time, like your exams will be after a week or 2, a year or just some hours) but you can’t study to them, some laziness and of course no motivation and a little hopeless. Surely where there are exams it’s an important matter for you. And there is some times, it means you still have more time to improve your chance to be closer (to your goal) than before (and here in example; it means also a hope, and an opportunity to keep something in your mind and remind yourself by previous gained knowledge). I can tell something here, logically if you don’t do any effort you won’t pass your exams? But if you think positively; When you start studying probably you won’t reach 100% of your preparation on day of your exams, right, but at least with that effort you’ll realize about 80% (more or less), this percentage isn’t great whereas it’s good enough to enter your exams with hope and in optimistic mood.

    So what prevents you to do your effort? At least you won’t regret on exams’ day that you wasted your time whatever the end is pleasant or not, besides your relaxing inside that you really did your best. You had an experience to be responsible under your pressures, better than being neutral, losing time, mood, and opportunities. In other words; you still have time to do some useful and fruitful effort to achieve a positive result. So find yourself a reason that deserves to do more efforts to ….(here: to learn that), benefit from your time, and invest in it (like in economy +0.01 means a growth and it’s a positive indicator).

    Simply; when you’ve to do something in a certain period, you know it’s very important, so try to do it perfectly, do your best during that period and benefit the most possible you can from it, right! At least when you fight for your goal, you won’t regret later if you lose it.

    That was an example to show the matter how to motivate yourself. You can compare this example with everything in your life that you’ve a project to do, an interview of job, an exam, a presentation, …etc. we don’t neglect some fun from time to time, but it deserves some seriousness from you in order to achieving your goals in life and improving your career. And remember! Because you’re convinced that it’s so important matter for you and your life, and you’ve to do it in the end; so find for yourself the suitable motivation to do it. When you create that inner motivation (or renew it again), you won’t give up even if you stop for years, you’ll retake again one day later.

    Next time; we’ll discuss another matter, it’s depending to one of the human values in life.

Is the matter valuable, to deserve more effort?

    All people are wishing to achieve a lot of things in their lives everyone in the entirely world is working on a plan to get a result in the end in order to make his life comfort, it’s concerning his family, study, career and job, and then it’ll be easier than before.

    But the plan doesn’t work correctly sometimes, and several factors comes within events of daily life suddenly and unexpected, so these factors show the going on plan and add more pressures in the matter, which leads to giving up before reaching the , where the person feels himself remaining in the same place too.

    No enough resources, no free time, no possibilities to do right now, …etc, in general; it’s going to the same sense of “no motivation”, then what to do in that situation?

   When you find yourself in that case, you’ve to handle it by yourself firstly you estimate your target again, does the matter deserve to fight for it? and goal (to work on) is important in your next life? May I give an example here, a student who learns a new language who tried long time with no progress in his linguistic level, so he feels disappointed after that and thinks to abandon. But the answer of that question is depending on your needs, is it important really for you to get that thing (to speak that language in future, maybe it’s job or post-graduating, …etc) ? if it’s the fact , so you shouldn’t stop definitely your learning even if you take a break time, but make it temporary only! Because in every time you remember what you planned to gain in your life after ending that matter (here: being fluent let me do…., and …etc ), it pushes you to be motivated again for the serious working and sets fire in your heart to be hopeful for being like you already planned and like you see in your vision. That’s what’s called the inner motivation regardless to the environment around.

    How to do that? You already estimated the importance of your doing and the necessity to getting for improving your career in next years. So you’re obliged to create the motivation by yourself to keep moving on. Because you don’t need anybody to remind you again that it’s something so important for you and you’ve to do it, and, …etc. I continue with the same example: you’ll have to spend a certain time in class (maybe some hours every week), and you’ll insist to be present and you paid also your fees. So why you can’t pass that time in learning seriously when you’ve to pass it in all cases?

    In the next article, I’ll give another example to tell some reasons make you think about your own business (whatever its kind) and how to push yourself ahead in getting your goal when you really believe that’s precious for you. 

Is the asking of advice making us look weaker?

    In the same context of the previous articles; when we said that the human life is a part from social life, and it can’t continue normally separately alone. when you think that your existence is a part from social existence; you’ll deal and interact with people more and many great values appear and strengthen. So you communicate, discuss different matters, help and asking help too. That’s the way that people develop in their minds, find out different cultures and knowledge, and get always new perspectives.

    Every one passes by bad circumstances, and some hard times come across his life’s irregular moments, in those times; the problems weaken the person who undergoes them in somehow. Sometimes the situation leads to the matter that we already talked about in last two articles “the loneliness”, and this choice isn’t pleasant neither likable.

    But some others; they prefer to overcome these cruel times in way to face them instead the isolation. So they look for an exit or outlet to exceed the circumstance that they have currently. They think about a way to handle it, regardless if it’s a moral problem or depending to some life’s responsibilities.

    The smartest people are who share this situation with others to contributing in the way to resolve the problem, two minds are thinking together it's better than one only, and when three minds are thinking it's the best. And the luckiest people too are who find the suitable person to share with. You’ll add more experiences to yourself although you didn’t experiment them or test them at all. And that protect you to be mistaken in your next step and what you should do among a lot of choices. Through the advice you can get rid of your fogginess and you won’t be confused anymore.

    Whatever; we all know that your brain can do the necessary and it’s enough, but we are talking for the better option, for example, when you ask about an opinion, they think in free and they look to the matter from different perspective than yours. In contrast; with concerned person can’t do it normally in many times because of pressures of short time or having a bad mood, no energies for doing, …etc, don’t allow a quiet reflection.

    If you didn’t find with whom you share and ask advices to make a clear view about your actuality to pursue the life, work.., it doesn’t mean that it’s bad choice to let others contribute in solution of your problems, they are just suggestions when you listen well and in the end it’s your decision to choose what to do next. Probably you didn’t meet yet such as cruel circumstance for this reason or that, and it’s not weakness when you ask advice from the true person whereas it’s just an advisory option in order to light your mind by a different though, economizing your energies in road, and shortening time toward the solution and getting your target easier.

    We’ve a saying that says: “the fruits of experiences are the good choice”, and the asking of advice - when it’s necessary - sometimes; enters within this point. To get benefits from the fruits of gardens besides of yours.