The marriage as an institution

     Many people aren't interested in committed relationship beneath the marriage institution, they prefer more freedom without marriage, or sometimes for fewer responsibilities avoiding any urgent way they may have. and many who’re against the marriage, for silly reasons, like to marry just to fix problems (or let’s say fixing their mistakes), If there are children. And I found that -according to their constitutions, Unfortunately-the law causes most of changes in people’s interests, so instead paying a lot for marriage’s stuff, they prefer to live together instead (regardless to all the advantages of marriage like the incomes of family and health care better). 

      Or maybe fears from cheating of the second person, even living together for years can’t guarantee the enough trust between. So the fears from divorce in future (in case of marriage)remain constantly, then they can’t change certain notes on their documents forever, because it’s not a relaxing fact to taking the name of the man even after the separation; which means certain dependence and kind of reminder in case if things didn’t go properly in their past. Also there are who prefer that as a choice to get more benefits, like being able to win scholarships for their studies, that as married can’t get them. And I found that the majority of people prefer such choice to be into a “free & sperated relationship” (if I can say so), since in any moment it ends and can happen that we can say there was no relationship at all, and then nothing remain anymore, especially like those who aren’t religious people, free of every controller of belief I mean, like those whom the religion doesn’t make a part of their lives at all.

      But in fact we can't find better than the marriage to guarantee the rights of two people, (within certain rules of course , not necessarily as the laws say nowadays), especially the social and psychological rights for the two people alike. And not easy for any side to just leave his/her duties when the mood and desire says so; and the situation when there are children between, they shouldn’t be a tool to fix the problem or mistakes of someone are counted from adults, that’s even a wrong view when they think about child as a mistake they did unfortunately, unjust to define that as a mistake.

      Moreover; the studies confirm that the marriage can help one or two people to be committed in certain healthy relationship due the psychological security that can bring to them, and even to avoid certain bad behaviors that can trouble the health of person (like some diseases) or the health of relationship (like drugs or drinking), these advantages are only because the huge affection and influence that the continuous presence of the second partner can provide - at least psychologically -, in comparing with the unmarried people while in one glance can disappear – and with obscurity why exactly -.

we can see that (such reasons like : to take another surname and be related to it, ...etc), and all those changes in lifestyle were mainly coming from decision makers, or the parliaments before decades, who defined the societies in way to commanding in people's thinking way in somehow, then that caused the changes into people's priorities, and their attitudes in life aswell, right?

      Then we assume if you [woman]can keep your surname, and you can keep your rights that the man can't leave just because he wants to do, in other words, he can't get rid of his responsibilities, so would that be better for the woman?  i meant also; when it happens and you divorce, you simply recover your surname again and only, can that reform the attitude to avoiding of this choice -marriage- from her?

      Those fears from cheating are in two directions between them, and the instability due the missing of guarantees and commitment, are not disadvantages of marriage, but the problem can be in morals of one or the two people, and their social values. Because marriage in fact; must refrain that instability and then to bring enough guarantees and relief for both to stabilize their relationship.

The need for common system of morals.

    People are different in their backgrounds and their cultures, which affect logically on their attitudes, thoughts and points of view, and when they come to define certain terms, they maybe disagree to determine the same definition to it.

    I got a question that means to say about the things I do like in this world and in mankind and those which I dislike, and because the topic generally was a new into my mind, I got in my mind an answer that analyzing a bit the human nature and the world today. That’s a story about the concepts and the values into every single mind, honestly all people agree that they love the peace, calm, happiness, the fortune, the fun, the joy, the justice, because that's what our instinct is made of, and meanwhile we dislike the hating, the oppression, stealing, ...etc. But the problem is in the confusion between those good values which all people look after.

    people have differences in how they define those terms, and if you ask about liking justice, nobody will answer you “no don't like”, but in fact they like justice when it's for their rights and their desires, and when they’re looking after it, but when it happens that justice is against them, and against their benefits, or someone else is striving to get it, they don’t give the matter enough importance, and they underestimate from the matter.

     So here the value is the selfishness since it’s not personal matter, and no talk about justice whereas we’re all live in same world and under the same universal circumstances even if our personal circumstances are different, and instead to have the same attitude from the issue they don’t care or maybe to stand against hidden behind some illogical reasons, they unintentionally forget about the justice's principle which they strive for in the first case.

     So there is the essence into our instinct inside in the depths of the human, but there is no strict controller that people are agreed about to keep control on those terms similarly on all of people, that's the problem in the matter, and the way to fix it, is through knowledge, while we learn more, we can find out about ourselves and our depths truly, do you agree with my opinion here?

     Yeah the knowledge is the cure against any bad stuff, it's a cure for ignorance and bad stereotypes, more we find out about issues we can have clearer idea about and then we won’t betray the principles and the we keep then the essence of morals as they’re into the human instinct and into the human nature according to the pattern on which he is made, but to imposing the opinion on others, that's really the bad fact, it starts from politicians who impose their thoughts, whether they look for good for others or for their personal benefits as usual, to the media that works according to oriented agendas and for certain purposes far away of the neutrality, until the simple people when they treat and deal with each other.

     So anyone has some of authority on someone else, will have the power to impose certain concepts on the way he wants them to see them, and usually that happens for guarantee some benefits constantly and being appreciated and protected from any troubles, it's the person's interests and selfishness, arrogance, superiority’s feelings, that push to such situations and as a sequence there will be more conflicts and misunderstanding between people and nations aswell.  

     To fixing well those problems, it’s required to have a common system of measuring the morals and determining correctly the values and principles that command in and control the people’s lives in every time and in everywhere.  But the question that I’ll finish my article with is: which measure should/must we rely on to determine perfectly those terms and clarifying well the principles based on morals? Probably I’ll reply on that question in other occasion.

The importance of the belief (part 03)

    Let’s continue from where we stopped before, and to mention some points here. The fearing of god → means that this person is thinking in sequences before doing everything, and not only –as everybody can do that too-, but s/he remembers that he’s having limits that s/he shouldn’t exceed them, and even when it’s possible to do and nobody can notice that but it’s invalid to doing that, then preferably to avoid as a choice and with a conviction→ which means also the self-control even when nobody else can notice that, and no collapse in behaviors or in values, from here the humanity got its moral culture, and in this context; people do a lot of thing in good sense in their around, without waiting anything in return from others, then they’re applying certain of real noble principles towards the world and humanity → and during that, s/he will be doing his/her obligation (with conviction of course) towards everyone (everything) around as much as possible for the god’s sake, and fearing god of hurting them too in every treatment or dealing with, that can look meaningless for those who didn’t experiment that really, because the god’s satisfaction is what s/he is looking for -in first place- and always there is a reason to stop them even if they get a bad intention in something.

    And when the goal is common between all people (and prior than the private interests and only), then it’ll be fair for all to agree with that rule, which shows the justice in front of all people alike, right. Because it’s so impossible to have a contradiction in purposes here between the god's satisfaction and people's agreement in such situation while all rules are applied on all at the same time and way.

    That’s above when we talk about the influence of religion on people’s transactions and dealings, and when we talk about the spiritual impact, we’ll see something else, may people today accuse the religious as weak people and they don’t trust themselves enough to face the life, in other words they claim the perfection and no need to any religion to live a proper life whereas they’re worshiping different idols when they don’t know, but the human nature requires to fill the spiritual side and complete that need inside, so historically many people left the religion when they don’t find their peace inside, but not only, they didn’t just accuse the way they were on, but generally the term of religion became inexistent for them completely, just from the only one experience they had, and that’s why they rejected all.

    Scientist and Philosophers confirm the belief as a part of every single soul, even those who make the mind just the only way to ruling the life instead of any other religion (which is useless), and to ruling the life by mind, it’s necessary to belief in the power of their minds and that are able to do everything, so without that certitude in their power and their authenticity, they can’t rely so much on their mind, and that means the belief. Religion was like a shadow of the humanity since the first age in obvious way that nobody can deny it.

    But Then they couldn’t continue in this way, because the spiritual side is empty and they’ve to cover it, not because the creator needs the obedience of human to him, but because the inner need of human to his creator to filling the spiritual emptiness, therefore a lot of people were( /are still ) looking for that mean to filling the shortage in the Far East (especially in the philosophical currents of Hinduism and Buddhism) or and learn that by their money instead of following the steps of their spiritual physicians sent by the god (like one scholar has said). As examples, people are learning yoga, or tai-chi, although we can’t deny their advantages on body and mind, like some other sports too, but not enough to cover all the spiritual needs in the modern life even if they calm down a bit that need, but can’t resist longer nor getting nirvana with life’s hardships.

    Furthermore, nowadays the social and economic pressures on every person are more than they were in decades before, because the world’s situation troubled in different sides, and so the feelings of fear increase too into everyone, that what explain (according studies) the inclination to astrology just to hearing what they want to hear and calming down their fears from totally the unclear future.

    People without a metaphysical stability are facing a lot of changes in the physical world, and they get many colors of distraction in life to have that chaos and wonder always, that lead many times to waves of depression, wondering, suicide ….etc. This last has high rates among the no-religious societies, and that reveals on the loss of the goal into their hearts, why do we live? And for which purpose are we living a period of certain years then leave this world? The true meaning from life totally is into the answer. Can the mind works with religion together to give a convenient answer?

The importance of the belief (part 02)

    In fact, everybody has his own religion, I mean even if it’s not from the structured ones, so s/he’s following his desires and freaks, his interests, lusts ….etc, and once I read about someone who said: “the music is my religion”.

    I think that religion leaves different imprints in every heart of believer. Our faith is subjective... we all feel God in different ways and understand His words in different ways. But fundamental principles are the same when the hearts are pure and intentions are innocent and clear.

    That refers to one thought: the religions are coming all from one source who is the god, and if there were more than one god, then we'll find huge differences in the essences between. Otherwise each god will leave away from others with his own rules, his creations, and his creatures, and then his own world.

    How person can realize the importance by religion in our lives? I think God shows that only. God opens eyes and hearts for the truth:

     Every person has to discover an importance of religion by himself ... faith is very personal and intimate thing. Whatever I talk about importance about religion and its advantages for hours but if in the same time his heart is not opened to God and his mind is not capable to understand information, I can say my talk is useless.

    "Our minds are created enough to realizing that we're in need to religion because the imperfect nature of the human’s perception. Therefore the god's wisdom and his absolute care about mankind brought the need to cover the shortage into minds by instructions from the above from the god, and then to guarantor the safety from every evils (Instructions that we can ingest them practically). Therefore we can't judge something (and i mean by something: the religion here) over our minds' power & ability, and then we say that we don't need it at all in the life, only because we didn't realize in fact its importance yet (the importance of that thing). If i don't feel cold, don't mean it's warm around, right and if i don't know something and its value. It never means that it's doesn't existing nor valueless."

     We can have hundreds of ways to realize this truth –truth of being in need to faith-, but to be convinced we take a certain time to think deeply about. The opening of heart of someone is by the god's will, but if we just say that, so we're telling in somehow that "the god is unjust" and that's wrong thought an wrong saying in his almighty right. So we'll add the following: of course the god commands in people's hearts, and nothing can happen without his will, but what makes the difference between people to be lighted by the god's guidance or not? If the person hasn't any good indicator for kindness or he's fanatic to his thoughts whatever the portion of these thoughts' truth; so surely this person won't be lighted and he will be prevented from the god's mercy where he's not merciful with his around from first.

     We can’t measure that with someone’s properties, or the luck –apparently- in the people’s life, the true essence appears mostly in crises that face the person. If you want get the god’s mercy, you must be merciful to people, and to want the god’s help, then be helpful for people too, and so on.

The importance of the belief (part 01)

    I was talking with a friend when she told me that she wishes:” I just want to be with a man of a strong faith.”  Then she continued that: “Nowadays I see a lot of couples living in civil marriage not being officially married. It’s so sad: (To spend a long time with a person and when you get tired of him just break up ... And yes, I do know what happened to modern guys here, all are scared about marriage: (So that’s why I said that I’m looking for a person with faith, because religion gives us instruction about marriage and we should follow that to be better.) and I’ve heard about many women too who wished to have a man fearing god. I wondered about that request and I wanted if I can to figure out its reasons from depths.

   Of course that’s a pity when the commitment between two people is interpreted just in this superficial way, I mean, it's a big badness when we just keep close contact to someone in a strong relationship then we leave simply when we want, it means we just follow our fancy, so the leaving isn't appropriate logically because that cause a mess in society and families also in their families ties, the mess not only society but even in our minds… and that builds irresponsible person who doesn't undergo to any commitment in life about others (except his interests and benefits in life), and even if that’s temporary or in period to certain time, but the difference is not committed relation. So if we use the religious logic, we can say it's very big sin to use others for the personal fun and temporary freak. Unfortunately that’s the general majoring fact in the world and the lifestyle in modern and fast-paced life which it became a way to spread even recently in everywhere around the world.

    "The best in my opinion is the one who can understand what religion means –truely-," like my friend continued. because today most of people think that religion is useless thing in life and not time to think about, or it causes problems for the human-being so better to get rid of it. To escape they choose different ways in life -without knowing also another face for an idol -. This logic of thinking upsets many people today really, even that, but they still living the hardships and adversities, because of missing the meaning of life generally and - the essence from- why we live.

    I agreed with my friend in point that she prefers a partner with faith, rarely to find someone who's serious with the matter of religion and who considers it as a part of life. Therefore that person can give some security to his/her partner and make a safe relationship, I’ve heard and read many women who pray for having men fearing god, while I expect the same -or a bit less- from kind men in return, only because s/he evaluates the life more than it's abstract appearance, and s/he looks for more dimensions around instead shortening that into one meaningless short life, it’s not to dealing with a trade partner, also not to thinking him/herself the axis that must be pleased (whatever others are in), while everybody around must obey his/her desires.

   It's a wrong thinking that, and a kind of selfishness, do you agree with me? Don’t you think so? Because if everybody does the same; then the jungle will be more merciful than the mankind’s life. Of course many people will disagree with that, and it’s just an opportunity to think about it again!!

   In brief the relationship between two people is just an example, but we can spread that on all topics of dealing in life, the religion guarantees the sense of responsibility in the person about his environment (whether people around or something else), his care about it and not looking just to himself and desires. Religion can control the person and help him to keep control and rectify his steps even when the chosen way is the hardest but it's the safest, the most correct one and the most servable.

   Like someone was looking to the world around in 2D, it was really great view, then he opened the second eye and the view becomes in 3D which became greater. Because the religion brings an additional dimension to every behavior and let some depths in its traces. And I’ll try to explain more in next article.

the imbalance in spending our care and feelings (3/3).

    We talked before about the fact of overstating in our dealing with animals, and in fact what it’s expressing about. Compare that view to the second one now, I watched a document which following the trajectory of the life of elephants, it was interesting to find out about the nature. During the way; one female fell sick when the caravan couldn’t wait it except its son which stayed nearby. Logically I was waiting when I’ll see the help to treat the elephant, but instead to offer that necessary care, they preferred to keep filming the end how it will be for hours to record that dramatic end.

    I don’t mean the situation like to saving a gazelle from a tiger, that’ll be a wrong interference in the nature and breaking the nature’s principal laws, so offering the help when it’s needed (as we said before) doesn’t mean to transgress on the normal process of the nature, also doesn’t mean to overstate in the care, right, but to help a wounded animal is something else and different to the two figures. Here where the animal’s welfare is required, instead of the previous figure that’s definitely legal and lawful.

    I didn’t find an explanation to this doing really, except the personal interest. Of course we have to care about animals –as we do with nature- by the necessary and treat them in proper way with mercy, but we can’t be as good as their lives in nature. We should do that for humans who deserve this kind of care like orphans or refugees of wars –as an example-.

    So when the matter requires care, usually people purely look for their interests without mercy nor care about the things around them. And in the same time they go far in the care and provide all kinds of mercy, whereas the matter can be controlled by keeping the middle distance in the dealing. In my opinion I don’t think it’s the right way to show the suitable care for animals and both are extremists in somehow.

    I my opinion, it’s not more than exaggeration in the two sides to the extremities, and it’s not more than tries to doing changes differently than the usual (when it becomes unbearably boring), and the freedom eased that way to try and be convinced with, maybe certain approbation comes from religious aspects and healthy results that someone get in fact, but not to be in the way that it’s in real life now.

    Recently, I’ve see a report showing some annoyance from animals rights organizations from those who possess animals, because they took them to special saloons, to colour them strangely and apply some weird cut hairs by shaving it. Really it’s not bad to possess animals and to give names to your pet like cat, horse, or dog, of course I don’t see all in black, some studies confirmed that the being with animals is bringing more happiness to elderly, they’ve some advantages surely, like when they give them reasons to move and be active in the life at least on a personal level (while those people are caring about something).

    And what I blamed here is: the dissociation in the social and family ties, furthermore; it’s not bad to care about animals -in reasonable way-, but when we check statistics and see around the world, we can find how many people are in need to help before any exaggeration to do with an animal, just keeping the reason with.

        To care about animals; it’s always necessary of course especially when it’s needed as we see in some governmental programs for protection from the human also (what the strange paradox). But the question for us as individuals; do we do that in the correct way as it should be done? Everyone can find the answer by himself and think about, probably there is something to rectify, don’t you think so?

the imbalance in spending our care and feelings. (1/3)

    I got a question from a friend: why we’ve names? Briefly I said that the name refers to his owner, usually it puts its traces in the personality of the person from the first times when he understands its meanings (name’s meanings) also from knowing stories of great people who got the same name and they play the role of models for him/her, and it effects on feelings towards the name as well.

    “Why we give animals names? Do they understand too the meanings too?” my friend continued so

    “Of course no” I replied, what people do today is a part from the social luxury. That’s from one side, and it's, just an interpretation for the need to live socially in the life. or just a picture of modern life, besides, the human is exaggerating to care about animals (especially pets) because of many reasons like the shortage in the human interactions, and less of social communication between people, social connection (even family ties) became weaker, that’s why people look for a different way to skip the situation, so animals become like a last outlet to cover that shortage in the life, especially when animals don’t demand a lot nor conditions for relations with.

    Regardless to the new life’s challenges and people do getting dogs often for more security, that’s great of course, but that you love animals so not necessary to have into your room on bed or sofa, you can be close to them by your care or going to park, right. They're not toys made for our fun and good mood, ok. So don't make all your interests in something like that and only, right

    And maybe if you’ve the enough social live (familiar life) you won't have time for animals as you do now, because you'll have something more precious to spend time with, because usually that (overstatement in) the interest - in pets- comes from the loneliness that people are living in life, unfortunately. So to trust animals and love them because they also love the human in return without conditions and easier to get them from, that’s what promoted this impression.

    And when you're so interested in what you've at home, you'll be thankful for your life and all graces you've got, animals won’t be for you more than a creature that requires a help and care from you only when it's necessary, maybe we can exclude dogs and cats, but some animals can’t be as pets really and preferably (to this creature) to leave in the nature that it's created in. then it will enjoy and feel the life better than being at homes,

    According to what’s termed by “the positional arms race” in the social life of people, which redefine again what’s “adequate and enough” for the person in his ordinary process of life. It becomes today a part of lifestyle and people exaggerate in that way by more care, and treat them like their kids or maybe more, in this case we can call them humans instead animals, am I right? And I’m sure many people do call their pets like that, because they were failed from society around and couldn’t find the good companionship

    Even about using animals, I make a difference between putting them in parks like nature reserves, in way to protect the type of certain animals from extinction, AND the fact of using animals for fun and impose cruel exercises on them like in circus or home’s cages. They’re created to help you get your purposes but not to be games between your hands.