The confusion between the popular fact, and the preferable choice (2/2)

         To continue in the same last topic, which shows many sides of both choices that people applies in life nowadays, I’ll try to show more opinions about it and make you all think with me while reading there.

It’s right that even with marriage; the life’s complications can lead to a bad end and get divorced, so may someone says that it doesn't matter if people are married or not. but the divorce is a resort we need to use just when life becomes impossible for two people to remain together. It's a logical solution to fix it, and also exceptional because that doesn't happen always, but breaking up is easier than divorce. don't you all think so?

Because breaking up can be a one side decision and sudden, and can happen in one glance, just like that. Whereas the other partner can't do anything to keep things better except to accept by force the consequences. That’s of course if we keep aside the person’s personality, because some people aren’t good at all in any way, and that’s because they don’t want to be good and they even have not intention for, or just they don’t feel the need to be so. And whether in marriage or in relationship, they just can’t function properly.

         Whereas divorce takes many procedures and agreement of two people too, also it takes time to end up. And because of that people may think to solve their problems more than to think about divorce, they act more logically than anything else. Whereas in a relationship it's easy for someone to escaping any time.

All that disagreement with marriage comes from the feelings of insecurity, that’s why many avoid getting married and prefer sharing life with someone without any official commitment. Every side is afraid to be deceived, and getting married is like a big risk for them. In this case, since they can’t trust each other so far, so why do they start their relationship? Furthermore; the argument of being more free out of marriage, is somehow a way to express the disappearance in any moment as a very possible choice, sooner or later, isn’t it? I mean once the person feels that s/he must be responsible on something, then s/he will find it easy to escape from that and just disappear like s/he has never been there before.

Keeping a family is better than breaking up or making one parent families, studies all confirm that the best for a child is to live between two parents instead one parent. And better to live in family than in an orphanage, Better for psychological reasons, social skills, better for communication skills, and for stability in personality...etc

It’s not bad at all to take from new things and benefit from their advantages, but it’s bad to reject all from everything only because it’s a part of a social heritage which maybe refers to mean an old thing. We don't neglect love and romance, but also we can't rely only on that for facing the hardships of life.

The confusion between the popular fact, and the preferable choice (1/2)

I’ve lately discussed this topic with some friends, why the marriage should be a recommended choice for partners’ life instead of any other choice? And I can start from that as a question for article. I’ve discussed this matter before, and somehow; their reading was the reason of our discussion, my friends and I. And in addition to what I’ve said before (you can check and read if you didn’t do so), I promised them to write more about, so I want to bring here some facts to enlighten this topic more, maybe I succeed to answer this question here or at least clarify more of its aspects.

We sometimes follow the seductive rhythm around us whatever it is instead of following our personal preferences. And that’s a very serious and large topic we maybe discuss another time, but that can affect very much on our choices and our lives aswell.

Yes i know that guys avoid marriage because of its responsibilities, and that girls don't prefer marriage, because they may want for a reason or another to make marriage as a big event. Of course it’s a big event in life of couple, but they unintentionally mean to make that appear to all others, it’s like making it a big event for everybody around and they should feel it that way like them, or big for the whole city, or even for the whole country (if they can so); otherwise better not to get married.

We don’t need to complicate things, or to be connected to the materialist stuff because they’re just like accessories. Since the marriage is an official step of commitment between two people; so if someone is a loving person to the second, and really want to spend life with; then s/he doesn't mind the step to making the relationship official. Isn't it? Because they argue that step is not necessary and meaningless, so it won’t make difference if they do it also, yeah! Or maybe they don’t have enough trust to each other? That’s a big problem really.

           Also marriage is better because it guarantees the rights of both, rights in front of law and brings advantages too in comparing to the second choice. Besides that; the marriage prevents the person from looking far, away from his/her family zone. In other words; someone in relationship means s/he is still looking for better one meanwhile s/he with someone and confessing about the love maybe every day, but in reality that person not enough yet. Moreover; marriage makes the relationship stronger and the desires of breaking up will decrease since each one remembers that they're married and not just in relationship that can end simply anytime, so there will be a lot to do before being officially separated. It’s a stimulant reason to think well before acting and not to behaving insanely towards the situation.     …To be continued!

The need for common measurement to our morals (P4/4):

The morals such as tolerance, understanding, patience, forgiveness, mercy, care and love …etc; can be found in different people regardless their ages, genders, places, positions or social degrees. Well appreciated because the reasons from applying them in life aren’t due the benefits to get something from in return, neither because of the power they’ve; but because of the desire to be close the most possible to perfection. That’s why the best right you may give to others is the one you do it willingly before being requested for, and the most generous doing you may do is when you don’t need anything from that person in return.

The powerful morals aren’t the same ones that the powerful people do, but they’re the ones which affect deeply even if it doesn’t largely affect, whether on the person himself on others around. Whereas the powerful people may affect largely and quickly even with the horrible morals they do. The powerful morals too are the ones which exceed the focus on self to others too, they’re the ones which show the responsible side of a person towards himself and others at once instead being silly irresponsible running after desires and only.

In this way we can define each moral alike, and the principle isn’t the fears and only, also not the fact to get something in return necessarily. But a personal target to recover the humanitarian side into the person without being blindly guided to his desires and lust. And the question comes in mind here is: which morals are needed to make us closer to the human perfection? Also what’s the utility of being so if we don’t see its effects, neither we’re feeling satisfied from the situation of being perfect?

Before that, let's describe what could the human perfection mean? it's a known fact that the human has a shortage and many flaws, which negates the perfection. but the concept we mean here is the fact of being a minded entity, having a sedate logic, his priorities aren't for materialistic stuff, neither for lust in expense of his mind. In this case there will be flaws aswell, but not same amount as the first time. Also the reasons to fall in stupidities are reasonable in comparing with the first case, that's what may the human perfection means. to be human as it's supposed to be.

The answer of this question is based on the second condition to explain the origins of morals (not due the fears that push to renouncing).The matter is why this concept of life can’t help us to be committed to good morals and principles, I mean when we think that the life is only one and we must live is to the fullest.

When the person is limited on this concept in his view to life, then the success will be to reach his goals anyway, regardless the nature of ways to achieve them. In this situation; if there is a way to do something to get the target (even inappropriate way) but possible to escape from punishment; so the success according this concept is worthy to do in such way. Because that person has some fears really, but not enough to stop him when he was inspired somehow by an outlet to avoid all that and to continue towards his goals. It means his principles and priorities in life aren’t ordered in proper way as they should be. That’s because of the distorted concept of life that he adopted for himself.

And I finish with this too; which concepts for life that can make us consider all these stuff and adopt the proper morals in common between us? And before this; what’s the reference that’s helpful to realize the good morals to apply for our lives?

The conscience plays an important role in this matter, I mean about being a reference for the measurement of morals which ones are needed and which ones are not. The unconscious people can’t be judged for their doings, like someone mad because he’s not responsible on his actions. But the conscience is a magical addition into the human which is able to show what’s true to do and what’s not. That conscience is in common between all people, and it can judge any action to decide whether it’s a good or bad action. Everything that’s going wrongly; it touches deeply our conscience and brings the feeling of grief. But it’s not always possible to play such role because sometimes the reliance on deep and wrong convictions according to the personal view, may deform the conscience and so its measurement. In other words; having a wrong start from certain convictions will lead to reach a wrong end while judging an action.

Getting used to a fact, can promote that into convictions, when the environment (family friends and so on), the habits, and traditions all together push to a certain direction, the way will be easy to get convinced. And what if those bases were wrong, so the convictions will be also so.

Then in same context with what we've discussed before;  what will be effective - as reference- to teach ourselves correct and new convictions that can be common morals in our lives ? i’ll try another time to reply at this question , and i give you a time to think again also.