The loneliness is a personal advantage or a social disease (part 02)

    The loneliness starts from a feeling of nobody understands correctly your needs, thoughts and your interests in life, then those people don’t find the essence of themselves (don’t feel their true value as persons), they suffer from some of marginalization in somehow, after that they don’t find any role they can do in life which brings depression, then more sadness, psychological instability ….(bad feelings too). So they prefer to be lonely more to not show their weakness and avoid talking with others even don’t discuss the matter except when it’s necessary. Because no one understands them, and again more depression more sadness until trending toward drugs, drinks, or suicide sometimes.

     I know sometimes you need to stay with yourself to renew your energies and discover yourself again, that’s logical to do, but to isolate yourself from any human interaction, that’s the wrong part in the matter. Maybe you blame yourself because of failures, your body lives in present whereas your feelings and spirit remained in past. You won’t have any progress in your life in this way.  And there is a saying: if you can’t change the circumstances; change your position and your attitude toward them! Look differently to the matter! And the live will flow in the other direction.

  How to do with them?

    Everybody needs help and support, it’s the social life and if you did a great job whereas no one evaluates or estimates well your work, you won’t like what you did, and you won’t enjoy your success at all, because it looks valueless work. Else when your work gets appreciation, and it looks valuable you feel pleasant and really you did something worth. And that’s the social life and the ordinary interaction with people.

    Moreover your destiny will bring to you who can help you in critical times; therefore you’re required to see when others are in need of your help or at least need your understanding as well. To not lose this person in the maze of loneliness; it’s preferably to bring him out by the sincere feeling of the understanding. When the person gets an impression that’s possible to find who can understand him, we won and we did a great achievement. Then the most important thing to do is the trust, it’s the channel to make this person feels your support and understanding, feels his existence in the real world as a member like everyone, all that to let him start talking with someone and break the wall of silence, it’s the first step.

    Secondly try to define for him his role in life (define again: remind him what he’s now? What can he do? And what should he think for to do?), and help to make a clear view for him to continue the life ahead. New dimensions ..with new horizons.

    If it’s in your responsibility or in your work to escort someone, you should provide the necessary help, show him the positive sides in his life, suggest him to join cultural or sportive clubs, improve some new skills and motivate him to learn something new in line with his tendencies, and also offer the guidance to achieve something valuable according to his interests, that recall to him self-esteem, and strengthen his confidence in himself.

How to do if you don’t find help?

    I know that the hardest times for each person are when he’s in need to close people - to standing beside him- and he couldn’t find that support from them, I mean when they aren’t available in the right time.

   The time is going on and you can’t stop the life, just you make yourself in vicious circle like living without existence and I think it isn’t fair enough for yourself. Probably that you don’t find who can help you to overcome that because it’s bad situation that you’re, so what should you do in this case?

    Break the routine! Change the things that you are used to do them every day, especially in weekend if you haven’t time in other days. If you’re working all days, you’re exhausted, go to have some fun (outside the work environment), plan to spend some time with family, friends, go to cinema, theatre, the park, the zoo,…etc or travel to a different city or country maybe.

    All the different kinds of pressures - from several responsibilities in life - lead to exit the life (in fact quit his existence as an active member), but the life doesn’t work like that, we should make effort to override all those, like I mentioned in many previous articles on this blog. Try to be in touch with others more, and discover how many people are different according to your tastes, you'll discover other things yourself within and how much you’ll be pleasant in your life.