Many
people aren't interested in committed relationship beneath the marriage institution,
they prefer more freedom without marriage, or sometimes for fewer
responsibilities avoiding any urgent way they may have. and many who’re against
the marriage, for silly reasons, like to marry just to fix problems (or let’s
say fixing their mistakes), If there are children. And I found that -according
to their constitutions, Unfortunately-the law causes most of changes in
people’s interests, so instead paying a lot for marriage’s stuff, they prefer
to live together instead (regardless to all the advantages of marriage like the
incomes of family and health care better).
Or maybe fears from cheating of the second person, even living together
for years can’t guarantee the enough trust between. So the fears from divorce
in future (in case of marriage)remain constantly, then they can’t change certain
notes on their documents forever, because it’s not a relaxing fact to taking
the name of the man even after the separation; which means certain dependence
and kind of reminder in case if things didn’t go properly in their past. Also
there are who prefer that as a choice to get more benefits, like being able to
win scholarships for their studies, that as married can’t get them. And I found
that the majority of people prefer such choice to be into a “free & sperated
relationship” (if I can say so), since in any moment it ends and can happen
that we can say there was no relationship at all, and then nothing remain
anymore, especially like those who aren’t religious people, free of every controller
of belief I mean, like those whom the religion doesn’t make a part of their
lives at all.
But in fact we can't find better than the marriage to guarantee the
rights of two people, (within certain rules of course ,
not necessarily as the laws say nowadays), especially the social and psychological
rights for the two people alike. And not easy for any side to just leave his/her
duties when the mood and desire says so; and the situation when there are children
between, they shouldn’t be a tool to fix the problem or mistakes of someone are
counted from adults, that’s even a wrong view when they think about child as a
mistake they did unfortunately, unjust to define that as a mistake.
Moreover; the studies confirm that the marriage can help one or two
people to be committed in certain healthy relationship due the psychological security
that can bring to them, and even to avoid certain bad behaviors that can
trouble the health of person (like some diseases) or the health of relationship
(like drugs or drinking), these advantages are only because the huge affection
and influence that the continuous presence of the second partner can provide - at least psychologically -, in comparing with the unmarried people
while in one glance can disappear – and with obscurity why exactly -.
we can see that (such reasons like : to take another surname and be related to it, ...etc), and all those changes in
lifestyle were mainly coming from decision makers, or the parliaments before
decades, who defined the societies in way to commanding in people's thinking
way in somehow, then that caused the changes into people's priorities, and their
attitudes in life aswell, right?
Then we assume if you [woman]can keep your surname, and you can keep
your rights that the man can't leave just because he wants to do, in other
words, he can't get rid of his responsibilities, so would that be better for the woman? i meant also; when it happens and you
divorce, you simply recover your surname again and only, can that reform the
attitude to avoiding of this choice -marriage- from her?
Those
fears from cheating are in two directions between them, and the instability due
the missing of guarantees and commitment, are not disadvantages of marriage,
but the problem can be in morals of one or the two people, and their social
values. Because marriage in fact; must refrain that instability and then to bring
enough guarantees and relief for both to stabilize their relationship.
